mama confessions : what I am and what I'm not.

Yesterday was the last game of Cormac's soccer season.  

Let me sum up for you how each of his games went :  I would try to get him excited all day about it. He would seem excited!  We would get there.  He would cry and yell adamantly that he did NOT want to play soccer and soccer was the worst thing in the world!!!!  I would try to calm him down so as to not alarm the other soccer moms.  I would tell him he needed to at least sit with his team and watch, if not play.  He would finally calm down, after taking my hand and using it to roughly wipe his tears and boogs (basically a 'hand hankie.')  He would amble over to his team, already warming up for the game, and the coaches would be overly nice and encouraging to him.  He would participate eventually (aka run up and down the field, sometimes yelling "Hey Mom!" and smiling and waving at me, completely oblivious to where the ball was.)

The game ended yesterday, and I was just thankful he ended up trying, considering his epic meltdown.  He got a participation medal (which he promptly gave to Finola, the loudest cheerleader at the game.) He ate pizza with his team, sweetly thanked the coaches and said goodbye to his little friends.  Then we all went on a nature hike on the park trail I promised him -- his sole motivation for participating in the soccer game.

So my kid is probably not a soccer player.  And I am not a soccer mom.

Team sports, in general, give me anxiety.  I was the kid who was afraid of the ball, afraid of making a mistake, and completely uncoordinated.  I was required to play volleyball (disaster) basketball (nooo!) and softball (ew) in grade school and I was the one they stuck in the least obtrusive position and then made sure there was someone nearby to cover for me.  I also dislike crowds and people yelling things at me.  This is why I run, people!

I never tried soccer, but my guess is I would have been terrible.

Now, maybe Cormac will find a team sport he likes.  Maybe he will someday end up liking soccer, even.  He is only four, after all.  Or maybe he will be a runner, hiker, introverted adventurer like his mama.

That would be just fine, too.  :)

I totally understand this face. :D