I think that I was too tired to even realize when her half-birthday was. I think last month. Maybe the one before? Anyway, the point is, I've been tired...
...and struggling, ya'll. With the whole "momming" thing.
Lately I morph into "tired, cranky, angry mommy" more often than I care to admit. Anytime there is an issue where I don't get enough rest this happens. So that is most days lately.
For me, "rest" is not just sleep, but quiet time away for introspection. Away from the chaos that is my children. Nap time, while I rarely nap, is my "rest time" because it is quiet, I can write, or just get re-centered. Now a huge chunk of nap time is de-stressing from putting Finola back in bed about thirty times.
I don't mean to complain. I really can't. It is just a hard season for me, compared to what I've dealt with thus far. Finola, from birth, has been a pretty easy kid. Sure, it took her ten months to "officially" sleep through the night, those 1-2 awakenings for food were not so bad, considering she went right back to sleep after.
And napping. What a dream! She settled into a sleep schedule pretty much at birth, all I ever had to do was lay her down and she gave me a smile and went to sleep.
Transitioning to the toddler bed? Again - easy. I could put her in bed and say 'good night.' At least at first.
We are now going on a month of Finola repeatedly getting out of bed at both naps and bedtime. We know she has had some nightmares that are making her afraid of her darkened room. But even when we leave a lamp on, door open, she still creeps downstairs, or into her brother's room. We have begged, bribed, threatened, yelled, calmly stated the consequences, tried to love her through it, given her a million second chances, given her zero second chances, done the "silent retreat" method, and let her cry it out. Nothing has been too successful.
Hubby can deal with this okay, but for me, it causes a lot of stress. It is as though I never get a rest from mothering, but it continues until I am so exhausted I want to cry. On normal days I am mentally pretty much done at 7pm, ready for Hubby to come home and help and so I can pour myself a glass of wine. Now it seems I am not really done until 9pm, sometimes 10pm.
So you can see why having a third baby at this point is kinda frightening for me!!! I can't imagine getting up with a baby multiple times per night on top of Fin's refusal to stay in bed.
Anyhow, besides the recent sleeping drama, Finola really, honestly, is a joy to have around.
She has a very big personality. She doesn't take ANYTHING seriously (opposite of Cormac, my over-thinker/over-analyzer) but rather laughs at everything. She is not afraid to make demands and push the envelope until she gets her way. She loves to dance, loves to sing, plays pretty well independently, and is a complete button-pusher. She knows exactly what to do to torment her big brother, teasing him mercilessly when she knows what makes him mad. I think she does it out of sheer amusement, not to be mean, but we are working on being kinder.
She doesn't let anyone push her around...in fact, she may be a tad too aggressive. While other kids might cry if someone takes their toy (ahem, Cormac) Finola will give that other kid the stiff arm, possibly knock them down, stare them straight in the eye and state, "That's mine!" We are working on that, too.
She is a good listener for the most part, seeming to want to do the right thing, even thought every part of her two-year-old brain urges her to just do what she wants and see what she can get away with. She hates when Dada reprimands her and he can send her into tears with even semi-disappointed look and stern voice.
Even still, she is very much a mama's girl. Nine times out of ten only mama's snuggles will do.
The potty training is going AWESOME, much to my relief. We did things a bit differently with her, but she has taken to it well and rarely has accidents, even in public. Like I said, she wants to do everything herself, just like her big brother, so I think that has helped a lot...having him as a model. SO happy to be diaper free...just wearing pull-ups during sleeping time!
Lots and lots of energy. I guess I just make really loud + energetic kids.
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| she is "roaring" here. she is very much a lioness! |
She is a pretty good conversationalist. Speaks very clearly for her age, makes good eye contact, and doesn't beat around the bush.
Well, that is Fin, six months away from being three. Supposedly that is worse than two, although I don't think I remember that being the case with Cormac. It is possibly I am choosing subconsciously to forget.
I looked back on the post I did for Cormac at 2.5, and cannot believe I already had baby Finola at that point. So fun to compare and see how very different they were at this age...and yet some things are the same.
I love having a girl, particularly you, my little Nola. I hope we are best friends when you are older. I hope you love Jesus with a fierce passion. I hope you never lose your tenacity and loud, joyous laugh! I hope you always ask me to scratch your back and say things like, "Mama, I make you happy!" Because you do. You really do.
Now, get back in bed. ;)
