When I asked her why she said, "Some of the kids made fun of me today before gym - they saw my belly and laughed. So I didn't want to change."
My mama heart sank.
Already? In Kindergarten? Body shaming? I ached with disappointment that my joyful, happy daughter was already having her confidence chipped away by comments such as this.
I remember being teased as a pre-pubescent kid - about my non-existent breasts, my super-oily, blemish-ridden skin. I remember forgetting all the good things about myself in those moments, and feeling defined by the supposed flaw being publicly pointed out.
But I don't remember it being at the tiny, tender age of five.
I know that this is only the first incident of many when one of my children will come home crying, hurt by a comment made by someone else. I know they have to learn to deal with it, because this will unfortunately occur all throughout their lives.
I know all this - and yet it doesn't make it any easier.
Dang. Parenting is rough and seriously each day comes with a new challenge. I was just hoping this one would come much later.
So how should we deal with this gracefully as parents - particularly as mothers? Body image is a big topic. It is one I have personally struggled with, having grown up being sent a very clear message that what you look like is important.
The fact is we cannot prevent the comments or opinions of others. As Rachel Hollis often quotes her therapist : "Other people's opinions are none of your business!" I love that. But can a five-year-old abide by that truth?
My daughter is awesome -- she is funny, and bold, and caring. Those things are what matter. She has amazing qualities that are to be praised! She was made on purpose, by a great and loving God.
For you created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (Psalm 139:13-14)
Besides teaching our kids that inner beauty is more important than physical appearance, we can also try our best to set a good example of kindness and encouragement - to other people...but also, just as importantly, to ourselves.
I am telling all this to myself most of all, because I could write all day about my shortcomings as a mom and insecurities. I used to promise myself I would not self-criticize in front of my daughter...but I can't say I've been 100% successful at that. She has probably heard me body-shame myself, and it hurts to even write that. But tomorrow is always a new day, and all I can do is keep striving and showing up. To speak to myself with love, instead of criticism - particularly regarding my body. My kids are hearing all of it, and it may be helping them "build the house" they end up living in.
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| source : @hellosunshine IG |
Recently it was National Women's Day, and there was so much love going around social media regarding women. It was day that was inspiring and so full of positivity!
Let's not keep the "girl power" vibe just to one day, though! Let's try to teach our daughters every single day where their true value lies - and that is definitely NOT in their size or shape.
Let's teach ourselves that, too.
