{day two : six things you love}

***Note: I am currently doing a 7 day blog challenge, where I blog based on writing prompts from this post***

There are the obvious things...my husband, my baby, God, family.  Let's skip those.  They know it, and it is not a challenge for me to write about my love for them.  For this post I tried to think of more revealing loves.

1. I love light. 

Ever walked outside, stopped mid-stride, closed your eyes and faced directly into the sun, soaking in the warmth for a moment?  I do this regularly.  People probably think I'm nuts.  I have never been officially diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure I have seasonal affective disorder.  I need light.  I realized this fact very keenly since becoming a stay-at-home mom.  For the past 15 years I have worked jobs in which I've been bathed in fluorescent light for 8+ hours a day.  Now I spend the majority of my day indoors...and I realize the value of light.  In the morning I turn on all the lights.  I frequently have to go on walks outside with the baby, whether it is sunny or not, just to be in the light.   Too much darkness and I get very down!

2. I love being alone.

I am not a person who likes a ton of people around me.  In fact, crowds sometimes give me a bit of anxiety {oh yes, the list of neuroses goes on, and on, and on...} Like the light, I also need time by myself to be in balance.  When I was a teenager I would come home from school and literally spend hours walking around the perimeter of our woods, just thinking about life.  It's hard to get alone time these days, but a couple days a week my husband takes the baby for a few hours at a time so I can venture out on my own, to wander solo with my thoughts...and very often a latte.

Source: lh5.googleusercontent.com via Tanvi on Pinterest

3. I love photography.

My love for photography began way before I started blogging.  Years before I owned my DSLR {with which I'm still shooting on the automatic setting.} Before I took art history classes in college and learned about composition, light, and subject matter.  I have always loved pictures.   I would pore over my older sisters snapshots of her and her friends, and spend hours sifting through my mom's trunk of old photographs.   My love for photography began as soon as I owned my first camera.  I would cry at Kmart if my 35mm film that I had waited two whole days as it was sent to the lab to get developed somehow came back "damaged..." meaning I had loaded it incorrectly or it had gotten wet or some other tragedy that meant none of my photos would ever come to be.   Yes, I would literally cry tears of grief over lost photographs.  It made me feel like the stories told on the film perhaps never happened.  Even now I kick myself if I realize I forgot my camera.   They often show the photographer's perspective of life.  Photographs can tell a story that often words cannot adequately convey.

4. I love oddballs.

In a world where people try to fit in, blend in, appear as though everything is perfect...I am drawn to those who will openly show their inner oddball.   Who don't seem to care too much what others think.  Those who admit their life has some crappy aspects...and they are OK with that.  I love an odd fashion sense {even though I dress pretty conservatively.}  I love a off-beat sense of humor.   I even have a little oddball in me...and I am so thankful to have my husband, my best friend, with whom I feel completely comfortable being as odd as I want to be.  

5. I love flowers.

Not in the sense that I love receiving flowers {though, of course, I do.}  I love flowers because they are art.  Flowers are art without even trying.   I am always in awe of the subtle ways in which God shows his awesomeness through creation.  Flowers are my favorite subject matter in photography {read: they are very easy to photograph...naturally beautiful and they don't move!}

6. I love reinvention.

If you know me, you know I like to move.  Literally.  While single I lived in more apartments than I can count, and my husband and I are already on our second home, contemplating a third...and we've only been married four years.  I love taking a space and making it my own.  I love painting walls.  I love change.  I have no problem changing the cut or color of my hair.  I feel no attachment to any particular city.  I am a firm believer in the saying:  "If you don't like something, change it."  Or just change something for the fun of it. :)

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{day one : seven things that cross your mind a lot}

***Note: I am currently doing a 7 day blog challenge, where I blog based on writing prompts from this post***

1. My baby. Okay, I know I said I would be blogging about something besides my baby...but this one is a given. I stay at home full time to care for this little person. It's an investment, so I put in a lot of effort. I think about how he is developing, his sleep patterns, his eating schedule, new things we can do that will be stimulating for him.  I used to have a lot of time to think about myself: how I look, where I should go out this weekend, whether to do strength-training or cardio at the gym, and where my next vacation will be. Now those things all take a backseat to thoughts about the baby.  I have no idea when I'll get to the mall next to buy a hot new outfit.  I have no idea when I will fit {like I used to} in said "hot new outfit." I have no idea when I'll get to try that new restaurant or go on a movie date with my husband. What I do know is that I have a beautiful, healthy baby boy who is dependent on me. The other things are fun and lovely when they happen, but don't seem that important anymore.

Source: pictureperfectbodywerkit.tumblr.com via Ashley on Pinterest

2. Minnesota.  I miss my home state.  I miss the lakes, the clean air, the frigid winters {yes, even those} the farm I grew up on, my family, camping trips to the bwca, the "uff-das" and the "yah sures" and the church potlucks with the hotdishes galore.  I love that I have lived in different states and would be completely open to moving to other states and even other countries.  But my heart and soul will always be in Minnesota.

3. Food.  I try to eat healthy...but I love food.  Not fancy food, necessarily...just food in general. I catch myself looking forward to my morning coffee, bagel and yogurt.  I scour the internet for restaurants with interesting cuisine that I want to try {you know, on all those nights out I get now that we have a baby...} I will sometimes chug a Red Bull in the late afternoon just so I can have the energy to try cooking a new recipe.  My idea of the perfect night is great conversation, a bottle of wine, and some very simple, very good food.  


4. Tomorrow.  They say you should live for today.  Enjoy the moment you are in.  I am not so good at that.  I am always planning, plotting, dreaming of what I can accomplish in the future.  I make lists of goals, long-term and for the very next day.  I love to physically cross things off these lists.  It gives me a strange sense of satisfaction. 

Source: fuckyeahyoga.tumblr.com via Ashley on Pinterest

5. Time.  I am very schedule-driven. I watch the clock like  a hawk.  I appreciate things occurring at their regularly scheduled time. I'm very punctual. I like to be early for things.  Except things that you really should not be early for...like parties.  Parties you should always be late.  {Believe me, the host appreciates people not arriving early or even right on time!} But I digress.


6. Mortality.  I often wonder how I will die.  I'm not exactly scared of death, but I would prefer to live a very long life. I also pray constantly for the safety of my husband and baby.  Morbid, right?  

Source: yyesnomaybeso.xanga.com via Ashley on Pinterest

7. God. What I mean is, I pray a lot. In my head.  Out loud.  While I drive.  While I'm brushing my teeth.  While I'm listening to my baby cry while he learns to self-soothe.   I pray that I make it to the end of the day with my sanity.  I pray that I can savor the happy moments. I pray that bad moments pass by quickly. I pray, as I said, for my family.  I pray for those that I know are hurting.  I pray that they pray, too.  Sometimes praying is honestly the only thing that gets me through the day...and I can't imagine not having that peace.

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seven day challenge: let's get real

I want to be challenged.  In my writing.  In my relationships.  In my life.  Due to this desire to be challenged I tend to challenge others.  Press them for honesty.  Try to break down the wall that so many put up.  Some people are very put off by this.  Others gravitate towards it.  I have had many people unexpectedly tell me their life stories, their deepest secrets, their greatest downfalls.


The very first night I met my husband he told me something extremely personal that he says he never talked about with anyone.   Years later I asked him why.  He still has no idea. In any case, I loved that we were able to connect on that level so quickly. 


Maybe it's because I've always been a button-pusher. A question-asker.  As a young kid I could easily get each of my siblings, in turn, to want to punch me in the face with my annoying button-pushing. {They never did...but there were a lot of close calls.}   I've never been much of a people-pleaser.   You know, keeping it surface-level and withholding my opinion so as not to cause any waves.  I can only stand so much small talk...then it's got to get real. When it comes to relationships,  I love happy people but you can't be happy and "roses and sunshine" all the time...you've got to show me a little darkness.  We all have it.  It is what gives us depth as humans.  If everyone was perfect and had no idiosyncrasies in their personality or heartache in their story what a very, very boring world it would be.  Differences are interesting, and happiness is only that because we have sadness to compare it to.


So the next seven days I will break from my typical "roses and sunshine" posts about cooking and babies and decorating {p.s. all things I genuinely do love} and go a little deeper.  Get more "real."  A little more revealing.
I came across a tumblr.com page {found here} dedicated to challenges. Hundreds of writing prompts, or, at the very least, questions to get you thinking.  I liked this one because it didn't seem too overwhelming or too silly,  and is relatively thought-provoking:

I figure this is a nice way to get back to creative writing and delve a little deeper than my usual posts.

So starting tomorrow things may get real. 
You ready?
:)

g

sweet somethings from...fall

1. our little family travels throughout the czech republic, austria and germany

2. baby cormac's very first plane ride

3. door in Prague...so many beautiful things in that city!

4. kisses from grampa

 5. rose garden 

6. beautiful upside-down baby

 7. farmers market blooms

 8. balloon release!

9. toasting to being completely debt-free!

10. leaves

11. sisters with baby boys

love.love.love

fall
.

g

today I baked! {blackberry cobbler}

If goat cheese is my favorite cheese,

then blackberries are my favorite fruit.

I eat them all summer.  I buy them at every farmers market I go to.  I never get sick of them.  Unless I eat too many at one time.  It is no wonder they named a phone after these juicy suckers.

 {Okay, I still wonder that.}

Anyway, now it is fall and I was informed last week when I was at a local fruit stand that blackberries are not exactly in season right now.  Wha?!?  They had none.  I didn't let that stop me.  I marched to the regular grocery store where they, praise Jesus, still had tons of blackberries.  Maybe not huge, amazing blackberries, but blackberries all the same.

So I bought two packs of blackberries and went home at made my very first cobbler.  I used the Blackberry Cobbler #1 recipe from the delicious Pioneer Woman blog.  I highly recommend as it is an extremely basic recipe that you can prepare in minutes and then throw it in the oven for one hour.  How sweet is that?

Mmmmmm...are you drooling yet?

Well, someone else was...

Someday Mac...someday.

:o)

Happy Friday, lovelies!

g

mama confessions: bottle love

Source: google.com via fromDanielle on Pinterest

It has been a rough week.  We decided to begin sleep-training Baby Mac, which means no more swaddling him up tight like a newborn and rocking him to sleep before placing him in the crib.  Now it is naptime/bedtime routine {feed, change, sing a song while rocking him a couple minutes} and place him down awake...to let him fuss {read: wail} until he self-soothes to sleep.

I thought this would be traumatic, but fortunately he has not cried more than 15 minutes before falling asleep.  Of course, those 15 feel like 30 to me.

The more difficult part: Baby Boy decided to wean himself off of the breast

 {which he now will grab, scream at, smile at, play with, but no, not eat from} in favor of the blessed bottle.  

The bottle that he loves to hold up himself.  

The bottle that makes his eyes light up when he sees it on the warmer.

Coming to grips with being done breastfeeding has been pretty hard on me.  I loved that bond we had for nearly four months.  The thought of consciously letting my milk "dry up" is really depressing to me.  Hubby tries to comfort but for a man this "loss" is probably very hard to understand.  The fact is:  baby is ready to let go of breastfeeding, and I'm not.  However,  I would rather see him happy and satisfied than agitated and hungry all the time.

So I'm trying not to view it as the end of the world, and look at the bright side.

Bright side?  

He is getting bigger!

Bright side?  

No more nursing bras and pads!  

Bright side?  

I can cut calories now and lose those last 4 pounds!

Bright side?  

It only makes me more excited to have another baby!

{in a couple years!}
g

easy apricot marinade: you'll want to lick your chops

This is not a recipe.

It is too easy to qualify.

It is a simple marinade to spruce up your pork chops 

{or chicken breasts}

before you grill them 

{or whatever you do!}  

You will need:
apricot preserves
dijon mustard -- a staple to have if you like to make your own salad dressings
ground ginger

I got some amazingly thick grill pork chops while perusing our local urban market with the babe the other day:

Combine your ingredients in a small bowl.

I usually taste it and add a little more ginger...

Then you just coat your chops with it, put it in a sealed container, let it marinate in the fridge for an hour or so, then grill 'em up!

I made some rosemary goat cheese mashed potatoes to go with mine...

which basically just means I add 5 oz of goat cheese and some chopped rosemary before I start mashing.

I would add goat cheese to anything if I could.

Enjoy your chops!  Eat them, don't really lick them.

L * O * V * E

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