{christmas bucket list}

Okay, so this is more of a 'to-do' than a 'bucket list.'  But since I love lists and lots of other bloggers are doing this, I thought I would join in the fun...

1. Cut down tree and decorate.

the tree!

2. Attend my very first 'ugly Christmas sweater' party.  Yes, my very first, and I am thirty-two. I couldn't find a sweater but only a tacky, ill-fitting holiday turtleneck for two dollars at Goodwill.   Here is a shot of some lovely ladies at our "crafty" Christmas party.  If you could see the detail on my turtleneck it has black Scottish terriers on it with crazy eyes and holly on their collars...

4. Take photos for Christmas card.  I am not sure why I always wait until December to do this.   Anyway, this year we were all sick with yucky colds and there was major snow falling outside so we had to take them inside by our tree. Here is an outtake.  This one will not be the card, don't worry.

family pic fail.

5. Send out said Christmas card.
6. Bake cookies and deliver to friends.  I've never been a big baker but now that Cormac is old enough to help me we have been on quite a cookie baking spree.  He loves helping and it gives me an excuse to use my pretty stand mixer.  Because I don't want to eat the whole batch myself we have been delivering some to various lady friends - mostly preggos!

7. Celebrate Christmas Eve/Day at our home -- for the first time EVER.  Usually we are in MN or at my in-laws for these two days...but this year we will have 'our' family celebration on the actual night/morning of Christmas.  I don't know why this means so much to me...but it does.  It is what my family did growing up, and it is what I desire for our little growing fam.  However, the entire weekend prior to Christmas will be spent with the Hubby's fam, and the day after Christmas we will drive to Minnesota for a giant reunion/celebration/crazy gathering at my parent's farm.  It will be nothing short of chaotic.  So excited for all the festivities!
8. Make cookies for Santa.  Set out, with milk.  Cormac already knows exactly where we will set these.
9. Purchase and hang mistletoe.  I actually got what is called a "kissing ball" at Michael's...and I adore it.  There was already a hook set into the huge doorframe between our kitchen and living room, so I decided it was fate that some mistletoe (or, fine, a kissing ball) be hung there.   SO worth it.  Cormac is constantly "catching me" under the kissing ball and running into me at full speed and kissing my legs.  Or I bring him or Finola under there and give them a million kisses, which he thinks is hilarious.  Or if he refuses, Hubby and I take a turn under there.  Also kind of nice.  :)  Best 6.99 I ever spent.

10.  Have all presents purchased and wrapped by December 15th.  Ha.

Okay, I'd better stop at ten.  It is a nice round number, and I prefer not to overwhelm myself.  Couple things I had to leave off the list to maintain my sanity -- the Elf on the Shelf thing (it looks fun but think I will wait til the kiddos are a bit older) and creating and carrying out an advent calendar.  There are so many cute ideas on Pinterest, but again, with all our travel and craziness and an infant I don't want to make myself crazy crazier than I already am.

What's on your Christmas bucket list this year???

seven things about my job...

Today's {wait...make that yesterday's} Tuesday Topics link-up writing prompt is...'7 things about your job.'  Well, I'm a stay-at-home mama - an occupation that seems to run in my family {sister and mama also are/were} - so it was kind of fun to think about the different aspects of what I do every day.  Here are my seven...

1. I am not sure who my boss is.  Might be Hubby since he pays me {and all the bills} every week.  Or is it my kiddos, who are quite demanding and dictate much of what goes on every day?  Or shall I be really confident and say I am "self-employed" and I am the boss?  Yeah, let's go with the whole "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" thing.

2. I consider working out, gardening, taking crazy amounts of photographs of our life, blogging about the kiddos, and cooking a decent breakfast and dinner as part of my "job."  Yeah, I know that working mamas may do all these things, too.  And it is probably WAY harder for them to do - thereby WAY more impressive!  But I LOVE including these things that I love as part of my daily grind.  They say you should love what you do...and I can say that my work day includes a lot of things I love doing.

{source}

3. The smoothness of my workday is often dictated by whether I got at least six hours of sleep {which right now, with a newborn, is not very consistent!} and if I get my cup of coffee in the morning.  Must get sleep.  And have coffee.  Period.

4. Being a stay-at-home-mama feels like what I was meant to do.  I went to college, got my degree, have had several different long-term jobs that I really loved and was {I think} decently good at.  I got to be "the boss" for a while, have delighted in various promotions across two different fields of work, got to dress up every day, and even went to grad school for a year and tried my hand at teaching.  While I have loved working outside the home in the past, since the moment I began staying home with Cormac I have not questioned whether or not it is what I want to be doing.  Now, don't get me wrong - there have been days I have thought how much I would love to wear something other than an old shirt and yoga pants, drop off my kiddos, and then work with adults all day.  There have been days I've been annoyed at my Hubby for saying his job is hard, lamenting to him how he doesn't have to deal with poop and barf and snot and drool and dirt all day...need I go on?  But we all have days where our jobs seem yucky.  The next day is always better.  And some days are amazing and I pinch myself at how fortunate I am to deal with all the nasty bodily fluids that my kiddos emit.  'Cause I also get giggles and hugs and kisses all day as well...which kinda make up for it.  :D

{source}

5.  I keep a pretty rigid schedule.  Call me bossy, OCD, or crazy schedule mama -- I will happily answer to them all.  I like my day to have a plan.  A consistent plan.  Well, as consistent as it can be with a newborn and a toddler.  My toddler seems to function best when he gets his meals, nap, and bedtime at the same time every day.  Shifts in schedule get him off-kilter and can cause extreme crabbiness. We'll see how the girl is, but I'm pretty sure I'll train her to love the schedule, too.

6.  The kitchen is my office.  No, not figuratively because I like to cook.  Literally it is where I keep my "important stuff" and my computer.  I have a cabinet dedicated specifically for my stuff.  Hubby has an actually desk and normal office space at home.  I have the kitchen...and I kinda love it.

7. I kick it old-school style - with a paper planner.  Yup, nothing fancy for this gal.  I know there are really cool apps for personal planning and I could keep my schedule that way.  My friend showed me one on her phone the other day...and I hate to admit that my eyes glazed over.  I don't think I am the most techno-savvy person in the world.  Plus, I love clicking my pen and physically crossing things off my to-do list on my handy-dandy paper planner.  I love flipping through the pages and seeing what I've accomplished.  I actually get a rush of happiness when I buy a new paper planner every July.  I am totally okay with how nerdy all of that sounds.  :)

So that's a little glimpse into my work as a SAHM.  Glam, I know.

What seven things would you share about your job?  

g

Linking here with Tiffany and Lauren...

{five, er, six favorite old photos}

The girls at Life.Love.Lauren and Austin Family Diary host a fun link party each week...and I am finally getting around to participating again!  This week's "Tuesday Topic" is Five Childhood Pics...

1.  Easter matchy-matchy.  Even when we were too old to dress exactly alike, my mother always made sure my sister Heidi and I coordinated our Easter outfits.  This was our nautical year.  I particularly enjoy our poofy-bangs, crimped hair, and the snooty expressions on our faces...including our dog's.

2. Ballerina halloween costume.  This is me dressed in my halloween costume when I was three.  It is actually one of my sister's old dance costumes.  I never took dance.  I am very uncoordinated.  But I look like I sort of know what I am doing, right?

3. Me and my Mama in Chicago.  This will forever be one of my favorite photographs of my mom holding me as a baby.

4.  Playing in the leaves!  Um...for those of you that don't think my son looks like me at all, and he is simply the spitting image of his Dada, check out that face and compare it with the one directly below.

Yep.  Pretty sure there is some resemblance there.  :D

5.  Matching Halloween cheerleader costumes.  Did I mention that my sister was the coordinated, athletic one?  Clearly I was never a cheerleader, but I love this shot.  Why did I get stuck with the huge pompoms?

6. Family in a Fantasy Suite.  What do you get when the only room available at the hotel your family loves to stay at every year is a fantasy suite called "Pharoah's Tomb"???  This picture.

the home video we have of this is even better.

Well, there you have it.  

Five (plus one bonus) of my favorite childhood photos. 

Thanks to Tiffany and Lauren for hosting these link parties!

g

mama confessions : six tips to feeling attractive {no - SEXY!} in the third tri

Yes, I said it.  The 'S word.'  Sexy.

My first pregnancy I don't remember feeling like a total slob.  This is probably because I was still working a normal job where I got dressed in nice, tailored clothing and wore heels.  I put on makeup every day.   When my Hubby left for work I wasn't in a bathrobe, my hair a crazy mess, with dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep (since I slept much better last pregnancy.)

last pregnancy - 40 weeks

This pregnancy I have, in general, felt not sexy.  I'm not saying I look ugly or that Hubby is not attracted to me - I just feel really, really blah.  

I am sure I am not the only mama who has felt this way during pregnancy, particularly in her third tri.  Right?

So in an effort to feel a little better about myself I searched for ways to 'get my groove back' in this third trimester of pregnancy...

1. Self tanner.  I feel better tan.  If you feel sexy pale, more power to you; however, I am willing to invest in bronzer or going for a spray tan if that is going to help me feel sassier.

my go-to "insta-tan" bronzer

wearing pink {and lipstick} really helps :D

2. New clothes.  Not talking about going on a major shopping spree here.  Even a new necklace or boldly colored scarf from Target can help.  Since I have sworn off clothes shopping until after this pregnancy, I satisfied my urge for a new outfit by unpacking all my maternity spring and summer clothes.  I have a LOT of cute dresses that fit my bump (or mu-mus as I like to call them.)  I tried a few on and felt sexier.  Now the weather just has to cooperate...

3. New hair style!  Again, trying to be thrifty I did NOT go to the salon, rather I colored my hair at home.  By myself.  Red!  Okay, well, technically it is 'dark auburn brown,' which is not extremely red, but redder than I have ever gone before.  I have previously written about my wish for red hair.  Turns out I LOVE IT.  I feel sexier as a redhead.  It really doesn't look drastically different, and maybe others think I am cuckoo for doing it...but it is fun and definitely makes me feel sexier.  Score. {will post pics soon when I have the time to take with decent camera!}

4. Have more sex.  This may seem like a no-brainer, but if you are not feeling sexy and then realize you  really haven't been having sex with your husband as often as usual, it may help to increase that.  Even when you are ginormously pregnant I am pretty sure your husband is into you.  So forget that you are overly exhausted, bloated, and hormonal...and just do it.  Just sayin'.

Source: Greta on Pinterest

5. Work out.   Getting sweaty at the gym makes me feel a million times better.  It is not just a body thing, but a mind thing.  So get those endorphins pumping!!!

6. Be happy.  Audrey Hepburn said it best when she stated, "Happy girls are the prettiest girls." I am definitely guilty of getting stuck in a negative rut.  I'll fully admit I can be a terrible nag, and a world-class complainer sometimes.   I don't think nagging and complaining on occasion are awful things, unless they take over your mindset completely.  (In fact, I think people who are ALWAYS waxing positive/roses and sunshine are rather dull/fake/trite.)  However, finding things to be happy about even when the weather sucks, your house is a complete renovation disaster, you have cankles  AND you resemble a waddling hippopotamus is crucial.  So I've been trying to be more laid-back and positive about the things I can't control, and focus on the good things!  There are many!

Source: theniftyfifties.tumblr.com viaSue on Pinterest

So that's my list.
What makes you feel sexier when in a rut... 

(preggo or not)?
g

ten reasons I'm afraid to have a girl

It's official.  We are having...
. . . . 
 . . . . 
  . . . . 
   . . . . 
    . . . .
to wait until the birth to find out the gender.  
Sorry!

I'm excited and petrified all at the same time.  I like to be super mentally/physically prepared for everything as much as is humanly possible, and waiting on the gender of our second babe is sure to be a challenge.

Hubby wants to wait - and am I now officially on board!  Er, as much as a control freak can be.

I figure we did it my way the first time, and it will be interesting to change it up a bit this pregnancy.

As I've been pretty open about, I've always pictured myself as a 'boy mama.'  I see myself as the 'alpha female' in the house.  I've loved my experience with Cormac, who is more and more 'boy' the older he gets.  Climbing on everything, jumping on everything, letting out gutteral boy yells constantly...and yet so, so, so affectionate and sweet.  He is a kisser, a hugger, a snuggler, a total lover.   I would adore another little boy.

However, there are things I could get really excited about if it is a girl, though, too.  I love girl clothes, girl decor, and almost all things girlie.  I know little girls who seem sweet, balance and normal.  Plus, from all I have heard girls are much easier when they are little {albeit harder when they reach the pre-teen/teen years.   But all in all, having a girl worries me more than it excites me.  Just being honest.

So we'll see.  God knows better than me what will be perfect for our fam.

'Til then, here are some girls and things about girls that scare this lil mama...

1. Honey Boo Boo.  So they say that having a girl 'steals the mother's beauty.'  Hmmm...

Source: imgfave.com via Jessica on Pinterest

2. Snooki

Source: google.com via Jessica on Pinterest

3. This picture.  I think it is supposed to be cute and make you want to have a little girl.  It has the opposite effect on me.  Makes my skin crawl.  Can we just let little girls be "kids" and not "miniature women?"  Eeesh.

Source: etsy.com via Lauren on Pinterest

4. The cost of prom/homecoming/dance classes, etc. etc. etc.
5. The cost of weddings.
6. The teenage years.  This is when I will have to get used to my baby that I birthed telling me how much she hates me and I "don't understand" which I probably won't.

7. The 'mommy issues' she will surely have.  I'm sorry, but even those who claim their mother is 'perfect and amazing' have 'mommy issues.'  Their issue in particular might be 'delusion.'

Source: someecards.com via Audrey on Pinterest

8. Watching her get her heart broken by boys I know are not worth her time anyway, but can't tell her that because it would only make her despise me. 'Nough said.

9. Being suspicious of every man that looks at her.

10. Mean girls.  Hopefully she wouldn't be one...but surely she will have to deal with them.

The only thing that restores my faith in having a daughter is reading Little Women or Jane Austen novels.  Surely my daughter will turn out like Jo March or Elizabeth Bennett, right?

Riiiight.

g

6 places + 5 foods + 4 books = playing catch-up!

Been a little distracted by unpacking and organizing process going on full-swing in the 'dream home.'  So, extremely late, here are:

6 places...
1. boundary waters canoe area
2. my kitchen {even in its current state}
3. my parent's farm
4. napa valley
5. seattle
6. new york city {any season, for any reason}

5 foods...
1. pizza
2. warm, crusty bread dipped in olive oil and balsamic vinegar
3. goat cheese {plain, on things, doesn't matter}
4. hummus + 'naked' pita chips
5. 'my' chipotle burrito - steak, rice, corn salsa, cheese + sour cream
(Yes, clearly I like cheese and carbs.)

Source: someecards.com via Greta on Pinterest

4 books...
1. pride and prejudice and zombies - reading right now, think is hilarious and fantastic!
2. the great gatsby - how can you not be in love with this novel?
3. the poisonwood bible - such a good read about sisterhood and motherhood.
4. the awakening - will forever remind me of my college women's lit days.  so much to analyze, such a classic.

Linking up again here with these lovely ladies...

We close on the sale of our 'other' house tomorrow -
so happy and hopeful that all goes well!

Hope all is going beautifully in your world!
g

8 fears

What scares me?  In reality, not a lot.
But most fears are not based on reality.

Source: go4prophotos.com via Marjorie on Pinterest

Eight fears...

1. spiderwebs - I've freaked out many a time after running into a spider web.  I immediately think the web had at least three spiders on it that are now stuck in my hair.
2.  heights - I don't like looking down from high places, or looking up at really tall things.
3.  the possibility of someone hiding in the shower, waiting to attack me - I check it every time.
4. small spaces - my older brother once {twice? thrice?}locked me in a trunk when I was little.  Not cool, bro!  
5.  kidnappers - I assume every stranger may be secretly plotting to kidnap my child.
6. scary movies - I will not watch them.  My imagination is too active.  Thanks, but I'll pass on being paranoid for the entire next day after watching one. 
7.  car accidents - I was in several when I was younger and I still have flashbacks.
8. tickling - I was tickle-tortured constantly by the aforementioned older bro as a child, and it left me with a major tickle fear.  Sometimes I will just imagine my husband tickling me and I will freak out.  I would rather have you punch me than tickle me.  In fact, I have punched people for tickling me.  

Or just punch ticklers.
:)

(Sorry this post was a quickie, 

but I have LOTS of packing to do!)

Linking here again...

Be brave, my friends!

 g

10 secrets

I love writing prompts.  If you didn't know, I was an English major with passion for writing specifically...so even a casual 'call to write' sends my mind spinning and my fingers typing.

Found this link-up through my blog friend Tanya, so I thought I'd give 'er a whirl.

Today's prompt: Ten Secrets.

I am not going to take this incredibly literally, as, ahem, a lady must have some secrets that remain secrets.

I will, instead, share some little things I don't ever tell people, because they are slightly embarrassing and they would never come up in normal conversation.

1. In fourth grade I got in trouble for stealing change out of people's gym bags during a grade school basketball game.  I also stole an egg of silly putty from Hallmark.  Never got caught, but felt guilty for years!

2. I enjoy show tunes and sing them on a regular basis.  I have all the Rogers and Hammerstein musicals memorized.  Thanks Mom.

3.  Grilling and using power tools gives me an odd feeling of empowerment.

4. My fifth grade "boyfriend's" mother hated me and referred to me as "a pill."  I don't think she meant a good pill, either.  Now that I have my own son I can empathize with her hatred.

5. I love watching Keeping up with the Kardashians - it makes me miss my family, even though my family is not even remotely similar to the Kardashians.  It also makes me want to have a bunch of kids.  That feeling passes quickly.

6. The only time I have ever had panic attacks was when I was briefly a high school English teacher.  I had one every morning right before I left for work.  This explains why this career was so brief.  I mean, you can only have so many panic attacks before you say, "Um...this isn't working out."  Pretty proud of myself for finishing out the school year, though!

7.  I sometimes eat an entire frozen pizza.  {and yes, I keep it down.}

8.  I've always wished I was a redhead.  I feel it would suit my personality very well.

9. I used to try to teach my little brother to sing and play basketball.  I was extremely bossy about it.  Which is weird because I am fairly horrible at both singing and playing basketball.

10.   I cry during every birth scene on A Baby Story.  Every single time.

What "secrets" would you deign to share?

 g

{today, my birthday}

Today is my 31st birthday.  
I'm pretty sure I've accidentally been telling people that I'm thirty-one for the past six months...so this is not that traumatic for me.

Some notable things from the past 365 days...

1. Had a baby.  Kind of a big deal.
2. Lost 38 pounds.  Okay, so most of it was baby-related...but still.
3. Travelled to Europe for the second time.  Hopefully not the last!
4. Stopped tanning.  Not gonna lie, kind of envious of some of the tans I saw at the pool yesterday...but having three pre-cancerous moles removed was enough to inspire me to stop fake-baking cold turkey.
5. Started using anti-aging cream.  Yep.

Aging is a funny thing.  Sometimes I feel old and a bit ornery.  Other times I feel young and vibrant.  Sometimes I am overwhelmed by how full and beautiful my life is.  Other times I get irritated at myself for not being able to laugh off the things that go wrong and just focus on the good.  Sometimes I feel like I could run a marathon.  Other times I feel creaky and exhausted.

And so it goes.  Another year of life is on the horizon...my heart is full of anticipation for what it might bring!

g

twenty things {my good friends} should know.

I've been pondering the subject of friendship a lot lately.   What kind of friend am I?  Imperfect, like everyone else.  Sometimes I wish I could wear a T-shirt listing all my imperfections and desires in a friendship, just to save time in the friendship-making department.

In lieu of a T-shirt, here is a blog post.  :)

1. I'm not agreeable.  Sorry!  I will listen very respectfully to your opinion and I will never bash your beliefs.  I am okay being close friends with people who think differently than I do on big issues.  Those have been some of my most interesting relationships.  However, if you are looking for someone to just nod and agree with you, it's not me.  If asked my opinion on I will respond honestly.  If you ask me anything I will tell you honestly.   Even if I think you might not agree with it.

Source: prettystuff.tumblr.com via Greta on Pinterest

2.   I'm a Christian, but you don't have to be for us to be friends.  I believe in Jesus as my Savior and the one true, Triune God - Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  I believe it is by grace through faith that when I die I will go to be with Him in heaven.  I believe in the Bible as complete truth.  As my friend, you don't need to believe this, and we don't need to talk about it.  Unless you want to.  Might be the most important conversation we ever have.  On that note:  I rarely will post on my blog regarding my religious beliefs.   I'm fine with those that do, as I think it can be an amazing witness.  I grew up with a preacher for a father, and I have had many, many deep conversations regarding Jesus and my beliefs with non-Christians over the years {even when I was a little one.}   I pray that some of these conversations led the listeners toward the Lord...or at least made them think about things differently.  However, I don't want my blog to be a place where anyone feels alienated.  I don't want to come off as some "perfect, super-Christian" who spouts off Bible verses during normal conversation and relates everything back to my faith.  Not that I think, from any of my posts, that I would come off "perfect" EVER...probably the opposite...but you know what I mean.  If you want to know my beliefs, or someone to talk to about anything to do with Christianity and the love of Jesus -- please email me at greta.r.ford@hotmail.com.  I love those conversations...I just want those I engage with those that have an open heart/mind.

Source: thegiftsoflife.tumblr.com via Greta on Pinterest

Source: blogs.women24.com via Greta on Pinterest

3. I really appreciate and need my alone time.  I don't feel incredibly pressed to fill my days with social engagements or make sure I am texting/calling people constantly.  Which brings us to...

4. I suck at using my cell phone.   Half the time I don't know where it is, the other half I forget to text/call people back.  I went several years in college without a cell phone at all...and survived just fine. {I kind of loved my answering machine.  It couldn't bother during class or go off during yoga or a movie.}  Don't feel snubbed if I don't return your text or don't call back.  It is not that I don't like you.  I just don't have my {super basic, total opposite of an iPhone} with me, usually.  You are better off emailing me.

5. Besides the cell phone, I am a very reliable person, and I expect the same from others.  I get really excited and count on things that are planned/promised.  When they don't...I can take it pretty hard.  Changes of plans I was looking forward to = unhappy girl!  Might be because I am a major planner and preparer, both mentally and physically.

6.  I admire hard work - and I'm really cheap frugal.  I grew up hearing my parents say, "If you want expensive clothing, gas for your car, or any extra spending cash you will have to get a job and work for it."  I'm definitely not complaining...I had a loving childhood with a roof over my head and food on the table.  But because of our lack of extras/fancy things I will always view money as something to use very wisely and will save a buck wherever I can.  Hubby and I follow Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace guidelines.   I want my son to grow up with the attitude that working hard is part of life, and that he should live within or, preferably, below his means.  So I guess, as my friend, it is important you know that I won't really sympathize if you complain about your dire financial circumstances, yet go out and buy a Coach purse.   Or live in a house with a really high mortgage.  Or have a fancy car...okay, you get the idea.  My thoughts are: enjoy your life, as much as you can afford to.  Or better yet, save your money and enjoy the simple, inexpensive things.

Source: cherrybam.tumblr.com via Greta on Pinterest

7. My love language is 'quality time.'  If you have not read the book The Five Love Languages you absolutely should.  It will help you understand your friends and loved ones better, and how to love them better.  For example...Gifts are nice, but they don't do a lot for me.  I don't take compliments very well, and feel awkward when anyone gushes over me.  I love physical affection, but it's not a requirement.  And please, please don't try to do things for me -- eck!   That makes me feel the opposite of loved.  {sorry all you 'acts of service' lovers out there!!!} My love language is absolutely, without a doubt, quality time.  It is how I naturally love, and the way I prefer to be loved.
      If I love you I will make the effort to be there for you at your most important moments.  I will spend the money to travel for weddings.  If we haven't hung out in a while I will make it happen.  I do my darnedest to visit you in the hospital if you are sick or when you have your first baby, and make sure I have an aisle seat at your wedding so I can beam at you {and cry} when you walk down the aisle.  You can bet your butt I will help you celebrate your 30th if you feel like partying.  I expect the same from my close friends and family.  Those are the things that make me feel the most loved.

8.  I have a short fuse.  I'm working on this, and usually the only people who ever see my temper are those that I am very close to, but I definitely have had some moments.  The funny thing is, becoming a mama has caused me to be a lot more even-keel.  From the moment I got pregnant I felt more balanced and calm.  Anyone else experience this?  Anyway, there are still moments when my anger will rear it's ugly head, and I deal with that as best I can.

9. I love wine.  Red wine.  Full-bodied, fairly dry, red, red wine.  {feel free to sway and sing that song in your head the rest of the day.}  I love drinking wine with girlfriends.  Please limit me to two glasses, as I am a lightweight...but if I haven't drank my two glasses please don't stare at me strangely and ask if I am "drunk already?" just because I am giggling and seem incredibly happy.   It's just because I am happy.  Because I'm drinking two glasses of wine.  Please allow this lightweight wine-drinking mama enjoy her two glasses and act as silly as she pleases without judgement!  :)

10.  My face is REALLY expressive.  To the point that it offends people.  Any emotion that I have, however fleeting, will flash across my face.  I've had people get pretty upset because I've curled my lip or widened my eyes at something they've said...when really I am not mad or annoyed.  I always tell people, "Pay no attention to my facial expressions!"  I have vowed to work on this, for sweet Cormac's sake if nothing else.

11.  I must not, under any circumstances, get really hungry.  See #8.

12.  I love to cook, even if I am not "the best."  I am learning and I love it!  If you are having an event, please ask me to bring something!!!

13.  I love to play!   I love playing with my baby, acting super silly, rolling around on the floor, or chasing him.  I don't mind sitting with him and playing with toys.  I don't mind doing the same goofy game over and over and over to keep him laughing.  I love throwing him in the air and spinning him around.  Playing is probably my favorite part about being a mama.  I never had such a wonderful excuse to be completely goofy before!

14.  I devote a lot of time to exercise.  I don't expect you, as my friend, to also do this...however, I will encourage you to be healthy, as I want the best for you.   However, if you are not into exercising six days a week, please don't poo-poo my efforts!  I work hard, and a true friend will respect that and appreciate it.

Source: bravegirlsclub.com via Greta on Pinterest

15. I want you to be you.  It's nice to have things in common with friends (particularly wine drinking tendencies) but we don't need to have everything in common.  If you are not a camper, it's cool!  If you really hate goat cheese, no worries!  Not interested in cooking, no prob.   I'll never pretend to like things I don't -- don't feel like you have to, either!  Besides, perfect {or the attempt to be} is boring, and your quirks make you beautiful.

Source: observando.net via Greta on Pinterest

16.   I value a few close friends, and my family, over a ton of so-so friendships and acquaintances.  I don't have 1000 Facebook friends.  I don't know what that says about me, but I'm okay with it.

17.  I love food.  I love to eat and try new foods.   I will try anything once.  I've rarely met a food I haven't liked.  I've been a vegetarian before and a pescatarian.  Both are fine choices that I truly respect.  However, I am okay eating anything that I choose.   If we are really friends, please don't pick at your food.  Relish it!  Please feel free to fully enjoy it in front of me.  Don't worry about things being caught in your teeth.  {remember - comfort! realness!}

18.  I like my house tidy and clutter-free...but I really don't care if yours is a hot mess.   Please don't run around picking up just 'cause I'm coming to visit, I seriously just care about hanging out with you and not much else! :D  Plus, I'm a "big picture" gal,  not very detail-oriented, so I won't notice your dusty mantle.

19.  I love being a mama...but it's not the only thing I like to talk about.   Unless we are on a playdate, or the baby is with me out of necessity, I probably am trying to escape mommyhood for a moment so let's please talk about anything but babies.

20.  I think comfort is the sign of true friendship.  Conversation with a true friend should feel real.  If you don't feel comfortable just being yourself, and feel the need to put in a ton of effort to make it fun...maybe the friendship is not meant to be {and that is okay.}  Let's just hang out and be really real, shall we?  :)

What would your "T-shirt" say?

What do you look for in a friendship with someone else?

{just something to ponder...completely rhetorical}

g

made my day.

1. running with baby. {always does.}

2. finally choosing a font for the little one's first birthday invites.  anyone else geek over free, cool fonts?

i completely do. 

3. fabric arrived!!!  for a future attempt at being crafty {which I'm not.}  here is a sneak peak:

4. it was 'world malbec day' yesterday.  aka an excuse to open that bottle of malbec I've been eyeing on the rack for a while.  was not disappointed!   {espuela del gaucho, malbec, 2010}

5. yoga class!  enough said.
6. flipping through the current Martha Stewart Living magazine and seeing Louisville featured.  We live in Kentucky, visit there a lot, and now I reeeeally want to go to this coffee shop:

{full article}

7. blueberry pancakes for dinner.  with malbec.  below are not my blueberry pancakes.  I burnt three and the others were not photo-worthy.  note to self: do not 'facebook' and make pancakes simultaneously.

{recipe}

What made your day?
g

{25 things}

Source: etsy.com via Greta on Pinterest

1. I have exactly seven half-finished blog posts in my queue, and yet I decided to write this completely random one instead of finishing any of them.

2. Today I entertained Baby Cormac by whistling the Andy Griffith Show theme song for literally a half hour straight.

3. Then I allowed him to chew on my beaded necklace...that was still around my neck.

4. The first thing I thought of after putting him to bed was pouring myself a glass of wine.

5. I love wine.

6. I really love wine.  Especially after whistling the Andy Griffith theme song for a half hour.

7. My husband can't whistle.

8. I get a sense of satisfaction when I find things I can do that my Hubby can't.  Sorry babe.

9. Tonight I am hoping my Hubby will pick up a pizza for dinner on the way home.  By Thursdays I don't feel like cooking.

10.  I'm a total city girl...but I kind of want to escape to the country.  Wake up in a big feather bed and eat a huge, homemade breakfast.

11.  I'm determined to learn to make homemade cinnamon rolls, a la my Grandma Mole.

12. Grandma Mole is not her real name.

13. Did I mention I love wine?

14. I really, really don't want to get up off the couch and wash bottles right now.  So many bottles...

15.  Okay, only six bottles.  But still.

16. I can't wait to finish all those other posts.  Tomorrow, maybe?  One of them, maybe?

17. I made some really good linguini with scallops last night...but my camera battery died so I couldn't take any pics.  Boo.

18. When I finally make those cinnamon rolls, I promise to take pictures.

19.  I have been doing really well with my resolutions!  I took a nap and ran and drank lots of water today.  Yay, me!

20. I'm watching the Seinfeld episode where Elaine tells Jerry she "faked."  This is why I love Elaine.

21.  Now Jerry is calling all his exes to ask them if they did, too.  This is why I love Jerry.

22. Pizza's here!

23.  I love my Hubby.

24.  If you made it this far, I salute you.  And wonder about you.  :)

25.  I promise my next post will not be this random...

Much love!

g

{day seven : one story you want to tell}

***Note: This is the final installment of my 7 day blog challenge, where I blog based on writing prompts from this post***

For months I'd looked forward to seeing his face.


I had even convinced myself the process of meeting him would not be that painful.  Women give birth all the time.  I figured I would go into labor during the night, and he would arrive by morning.  It would be shiny and happy and lovely.  Isn't that how it happens all the time  in the movies?

I started feeling the contractions at around 9pm on his due date.  Real ones, this time.  Not the vague tightening that I had been feeling for months.   My husband and I decided to go for our normal nighttime walk around the neighborhood, trying to induce labor.  We were happy, smiling, thrilled at the prospect that soon, very soon, we would have our baby.  After forty weeks of anticipation.  My belly larger than life.

I would stop in my tracks along our walk, the pain now sharp enough to actually have to stop and grab Paul's arm tightly.  At about midnight, when the contractions became consistently 5 minutes apart, we decided to call the doctor and see if we should make that fateful journey to the hospital.  The answer was, "Come on in -- you're going to have a baby!"  Gulp.

We had been up since around 6am the previous morning, but adrenaline and excitement had us somehow ignoring our sleep-deprived state.  I felt ready for a marathon.  Paul was all smiles, asking me a million questions about how I was feeling, and of course letting me squeeze his hand with all my might during these early contractions.   We basically bounced gleefully up to the check-in desk in the "baby wing" of the hospital: "My wife is having our baby tonight!"  He may as well have shouted, "Yippee!"  The nurse gave a knowing smirk, probably thinking, Suckers! and had us wait in the Triage Room.  This took forever.  "Forever" meaning about 45 minutes, but believe me, when you are in labor that qualifies as "forever."

When the triage nurse finally came in to check how far along I was and decide if I deserved a room or not, I was extremely uncomfortable from the contractions.  I was already to the point where I needed complete silence during them and was starting to get a little nervous about my pain tolerance.  Yet, I put on a brave face and handed over my birth plan.

The nurse determined I was 6 cm dilated, which seemed like good progress to me.  Everything was going according to "the plan."  I had labored at home as long as I could, and now I was ready to finish the process, naturally and completely drug free, at the hospital.   We had remembered our bag {thank God} and I was armed with all that I needed: supportive husband, comfy "labor" clothes,  iPod with motivational birthing music mix, water bottle, and of course, the camera.  The blessed camera.  Between contractions I was teaching Hubby how to use the fancy thing. 


Here is our test picture...you can tell it is around 2am and I was mid-labor.  This was before the contractions had become extremely strong, but still. Not pretty.  I can remember the pain just looking at this picture: 

Very quickly all my plans went out the window.  

The contractions started coming extremely hard and fast about 3am.   Little did I know, baby was facing "up" {posterior position} and I was having the most painful of labor: back labor.  Each contraction felt like I was getting hit by a truck.   Or that a truck was trying to exit my uterus.   I absolutely could not lay down -- that only doubled the pain.  I labored standing up, in my hospital gown, butt sticking out, leaning against Paul in those wee hours of the morning on July 13th, breathing as evenly as I could, moaning and groaning as quietly and calmly as I could.

For one hour I labored on the "birthing ball."  When a contraction would come I would try to control my breathing the best I could during that minute of intense, mind-numbing pain, while swaying in all directions on that ball, praying with every ounce of my soul for the Lord to get me through each one.  When I finally stood up from the ball we realized my water had broken.   I remember vividly that the water that was all over my gown and the floor was ice cold, so really we had no idea at what point it broke.


The nurse checked me again at 4am and I was at 8cm.  Not progressing as quickly as I would have liked.  For how intense and closely the contractions had been coming I thought for sure I would have been at 10cm.  Even the nurse seemed a little surprised.  But everyone tried to remain positive, for my sake: "You're doing so great!" and "You can do this!"  I had somehow managed to remain rather calm and quiet during the labor process thus-far.


But now I was tired.  So tired from the breathing and swaying and hanging on to Paul's shoulders for dear life during each contraction that I was literally falling asleep between contractions.  Yes, falling asleep.  Strangely, the contractions were slowing down.  Still every bit as painful, but coming a little less frequently. Something was wrong.


So when they checked my cervix again at 6am and I was STILL at 8cm, I started to panic.  How was it possible?  All that work I'd done the past two hours and my cervix hadn't budged.  I felt like I was going to die.  Not from the pain of the contractions specifically, but because I was too exhausted to go through that kind of immense pain for an undetermined amount of time.    I was having dark premonitions that I would simply shut down from exhaustion and not be able to push the baby out.  There did not seem to be an end in sight.

I felt physically at the end of my rope from exhaustion, and no one seemed to have any answers for why my labor had stalled.


I wanted the epidural.  


As per my birth plan, both Paul and my nurse gently tried to talk me out of it.  Told me again I could do it.  At that point there was no doubt in my mind what I wanted.  


Every woman has their limit:  ten hours {and God knows how many more} of back labor was mine.  Birth plan be damned.


So after 45 minutes more I got the epidural.  Those were the longest and most gut-wrenching 45 minutes of the entire labor process, because I now expected relief, and it was slow in coming.   I don't even remember the needle going in.  It could have been a foot long for all I know.  I just knew that once the contractions disappeared my panic about not being able to push the baby out subsided as well.  Praise Jesus Almighty.

After the epidural we spent the next three hours relaxing.  Yes folks, relaxing.  My body labored away, unbeknownst to me.  I could not feel a thing.  

My epidural was super-strength, apparently.

I slept.  Paul slept.  We played a game or two of cribbage.  I talked to one of my closest girlfriends on the phone.  All was glorious.  And very odd.

Then my doctor came in.  Finally.  This was the first I had seen of my doctor throughout the entire labor {which didn't strike me as weird until later.}  

He checked me:  I was STILL at 8cm.  He seemed puzzled.  He looked the handy-dandy printout that showed my contraction pattern.  They had definitely slowed down even more...yet had kept the same intensity.  


Upon further inspection {read: poking and prodding my lady parts} the doc came to a revelation:  my water had NOT broken.  Or perhaps there were two, um, "waters" because he had to break it again.  Another clear gush of fluid.


"Now we're cooking with gas," he said.  Well, not really, but something like that.


Another helpful revelation:  "Your baby is facing the wrong direction."  Thus, the back labor.  Even more fun news from the doc: "I will probably have to try to turn him."  That didn't sound good.


After another hour, I was finally at 10 centimeters and the doctor gave the okay for "us" to start pushing. Regarding pushing: when you've had an epidural you can't feel anything.  Which is good.  Also, it is bad...because you can't feel anything.  It can be very difficult to push out a baby you cannot feel.  The only way I knew to push was to pay careful attention to a very faint pressure I would feel somewhere in my uterus.  A tickle, really.  When I felt it, I would exclaim to Paul and the nurse who was only sometimes present during my "pushing process" that I had to push.  Whoever was there {the doc was off delivering other babies} would hold my feet so my knees were nearly touching my face and coach me through.


"1 - 2 - 3 - PUUUUUUUUUSH!"  sometimes twice during each contraction.   Paul kept excitedly telling me he could see the head, that the baby was getting closer and closer to coming out, that he had hair!  Lots of dark baby hair.  I could only nod.  I was in the middle of something, after all.


It took me two full hours of pushing before the doctor was able to turn the baby into the correct position and baby's head came out.   Quickly the doctor said, quite seriously, "Greta you better push again right now -- he's not taking this very well."   No problem, Doc.  With one final heave out came his wet, slimy, wriggly little body.  


During those first few seconds I felt nothing but relief.  I saw him.  He looked perfect.  He was alive!  


Paul, on the other hand, was on pins and needles until he heard the baby's first cry...which occurred after a minute of vigorous suctioning of mucous out of the throat.  Paul says those were scary moments for him.


Immediately after that first cry the baby was placed on my chest.  He was not wiped off, he was not weighed...just given to me, his mama, immediately.  Finally, something went according to plan!

I did not cry.  I was not scared.   I knew him already.  "Cormac Landon Ford," was all I said, to no one in particular.  For a full hour and a half we snuggled together, I fed him, and just looked amazedly at this tiny boy who needed to be close to my beating heart, that familiar sound.

Perhaps some forget the pain of childbirth...but you never forget the way your heart swells when you hold your baby the first time.


For months I'd looked forward to seeing his face.


It was worth every moment.

g