finola is three!

Dearest Fin,

Your third year has been fun, busy, and loud...kinda like you!  

You are such a ray of sunshine in our lives -- always quick with a smile, hug, or a "joke," you definitely prefer to remedy any uncomfortable situation with humor.  You are known to laugh loudly for no apparent reason during awkward moments.  If there is a moment of silence you might insert a belch or a fart to lighten the mood.   

You like to tease and irritate your brother.  Lordy. This year the two of you learned how to bicker and compete - constantly.  I have been a referee for the past year and I don't see the end of it any time soon.  

You are my little helper in the kitchen!  You love to volunteer to help me prepare meals, or get the snacks out.  You kinda love food in general.  While I sometimes get initial complaints about eating your vegetables at dinner, you always end up chowing them down at the prospect of dessert.  I remember craving sweets to the extreme when you were in my belly, and your sweet tooth is strong! Favorites are powdered sugar donuts and vanilla ice cream with sprinkles!  No chocolate, though. 

Favorite non-sugary food?  Easily mac n cheese.  Pretty sure you request this for every meal, even breakfast sometimes.  I limit it to once a week but you would prefer more often.  Hot dogs, cottage cheese and pickles are other frequent requests.

While you have recently developed a weird bug phobia (okay, not so weird, I hate them, too) you are still my nature girl.  I think you would rather be outside in the dirt and puddles than playing with toys any day.  In fact, I had a hard time thinking of presents to get you for your birthday!  You tend to just want to play with all Cormac's "boy stuff."  Like, you want anything he might be playing with at any given moment.  Sigh. 

You love singing and dancing and music in general!  You have been known to belt out John Denver's "Take Me Home, Country Roads" in McDonalds, at Barnes and Noble, or anywhere else where an a random audience might listen. 

Finola, we love you light and fun personality!  You never take anything too seriously, which is sometimes a bit frustrating, but probably a good thing in general.  You are also competitive, assertive, and sometimes bossy and demanding.  You have your share of typical toddler tantrums.  I've learned with you that when you throw a fit, I need to just give you a moment, wait patiently in silence with an understanding look on my face, and then you clearly see your outburst was out of line and then you'll let me hug you.  You say you're sorry without being prompted.  You are very self-aware.

Other general things of note: you are doing AWESOME with potty training, though still need to wear a pull up at night, and there will be the occasional accident. You do things "yourself" so that makes me happy, even if I have to clean up a few more messes in the bathroom.  (Our concepts of "enough TP" are not quite the same.)  However, we still need to work on appropriate places to use the potty...like maybe not in one of the Lowe's display toilets.  

And now, because your mama is obsessed with photos and particularly photos set to music...here is your bday slideshow.  The first song is one of our favorites -- and one that really fits our life right now.   

Finola, you are one of the "good things" in this life we've been blessed with that reminds me how present God is, and what is truly important every day...

Happy, happy birthday Finola!!!!

finola and the terrible twos.

I never did a half-birthday post for Finola.

I think that I was too tired to even realize when her half-birthday was.  I think last month.  Maybe the one before?  Anyway, the point is, I've been tired...

...and struggling, ya'll.  With the whole "momming" thing.

Lately I morph into "tired, cranky, angry mommy" more often than I care to admit.  Anytime there is an issue where I don't get enough rest this happens.  So that is most days lately.

For me, "rest" is not just sleep, but quiet time away for introspection.  Away from the chaos that is my children.  Nap time, while I rarely nap, is my "rest time" because it is quiet, I can write, or just get re-centered.   Now a huge chunk of nap time is de-stressing from putting Finola back in bed about thirty times.

I don't mean to complain.  I really can't.  It is just a hard season for me, compared to what I've dealt with thus far.  Finola, from birth, has been a pretty easy kid.  Sure, it took her ten months to "officially" sleep through the night, those 1-2 awakenings for food were not so bad, considering she went right back to sleep after.

And napping.  What a dream!  She settled into a sleep schedule pretty much at birth, all I ever had to do was lay her down and she gave me a smile and went to sleep.

Transitioning to the toddler bed?  Again - easy.  I could put her in bed and say 'good night.'  At least at first.

We are now going on a month of Finola repeatedly getting out of bed at both naps and bedtime.  We know she has had some nightmares that are making her afraid of her darkened room.   But even when we leave a lamp on, door open, she still creeps downstairs, or into her brother's room.  We have begged, bribed, threatened, yelled, calmly stated the consequences, tried to love her through it, given her a million second chances, given her zero second chances, done the "silent retreat" method, and let her cry it out.  Nothing has been too successful.

Hubby can deal with this okay, but for me, it causes a lot of stress.  It is as though I never get a rest from mothering, but it continues until I am so exhausted I want to cry.  On normal days I am mentally pretty much done at 7pm, ready for Hubby to come home and help and so I can pour myself a glass of wine.  Now it seems I am not really done until 9pm, sometimes 10pm.

So you can see why having a third baby at this point is kinda frightening for me!!!  I can't imagine getting up with a baby multiple times per night on top of Fin's refusal to stay in bed.

Anyhow, besides the recent sleeping drama, Finola really, honestly, is a joy to have around.

She has a very big personality.  She doesn't take ANYTHING seriously (opposite of Cormac, my over-thinker/over-analyzer) but rather laughs at everything.  She is not afraid to make demands and push the envelope until she gets her way.   She loves to dance, loves to sing, plays pretty well independently, and is a complete button-pusher.  She knows exactly what to do to torment her big brother, teasing him mercilessly when she knows what makes him mad.  I think she does it out of sheer amusement, not to be mean, but we are working on being kinder.

She doesn't let anyone push her around...in fact, she may be a tad too aggressive.  While other kids might cry if someone takes their toy (ahem, Cormac) Finola will give that other kid the stiff arm, possibly knock them down, stare them straight in the eye and state, "That's mine!" We are working on that, too.

She is a good listener for the most part, seeming to want to do the right thing, even thought every part of her two-year-old brain urges her to just do what she wants and see what she can get away with.   She hates when Dada reprimands her and he can send her into tears with even semi-disappointed look and stern voice.

Even still, she is very much a mama's girl.  Nine times out of ten only mama's snuggles will do.

The potty training is going AWESOME, much to my relief.  We did things a bit differently with her, but she has taken to it well and rarely has accidents, even in public.  Like I said, she wants to do everything herself, just like her big brother, so I think that has helped a lot...having him as a model. SO happy to be diaper free...just wearing pull-ups during sleeping time!

Lots and lots of energy.  I guess I just make really loud + energetic kids.

she is "roaring" here.  she is very much a lioness!

Favorite foods are fruit and ice cream with sprinkles.  Hates chocolate.

She is a pretty good conversationalist.  Speaks very clearly for her age, makes good eye contact, and doesn't beat around the bush.

Well, that is Fin, six months away from being three.  Supposedly that is worse than two, although I don't think I remember that being the case with Cormac.  It is possibly I am choosing subconsciously to forget.

I looked back on the post I did for Cormac at 2.5, and cannot believe I already had baby Finola at that point.  So fun to compare and see how very different they were at this age...and yet some things are the same.

I love having a girl, particularly you, my little Nola.   I hope we are best friends when you are older. I hope you love Jesus with a fierce passion.  I hope you never lose your tenacity and loud, joyous laugh!  I hope you always ask me to scratch your back and say things like, "Mama, I make you happy!" Because you do.  You really do.

Now, get back in bed.  ;)

here's looking at two.

Dear Finola,

I could not have even dreamed up the delight that you have become at the age of two.  Back when you were a tiny one, my little dream newborn - good eater, reliable sleeper, rarely fussy.  Now you are still all of that - but with more hair, more words, and much, much more FUN.

You are feisty.  I kinda like that.  Your two-year-old tantrums are epic.  Instead of frustrating, they most of the time make me have to hide my laughter.  The other day when I tried to put you in a fancy floral dress for church, you threw a major hissy and were inconsolable.  So I left the room to give you a moment to calm down (and stifle my giggles) since you wouldn't let me near you even for hugs.  When I came back you had managed to take the dress completely off and were laying, smiling, naked on the floor.  Needless to say, we wore another outfit to church that day.

You are physically pretty strong.  You can hold your own in competitions of strength with your brother.  Speed-wise, you are getting pretty fast during your "races" with him.  You still always lose, and have taken to crumpling on the floor when he snottily cheers, "I win!" - but I keep telling you that someday you will win (sometimes.)

Socially, you are at first shy and cling to your mama, but when you know a person well you are generous with hugs and kisses and snuggles.  You say "See you later!" to everyone we know (and don't know) when out and about.

Your favorite foods are pickles, Pringles, bananas, strawberries and cottage cheese.

Ever since your birthday last week you have been greeting me in the morning with "Happy Bird-day, Mama!"

You are in a kissing phase, where every time I pick you up you will grab my face through peals of laughter and plant giant kisses on my cheeks and lips.  "MO! MO KISSES!" you shout.

To celebrate you turning two, we didn't have a party, but we went on an overnight family camping trip.  You did awesome.

"So...where can I drive ya?"

"Camping rocks!  Unless it starts raining...then I hate it." 

On the day of your birthday, a Tuesday, we didn't do anything too wild.  I blew up 36 balloons the night before and filled your room up with them while you slept.  We had donut holes and strawberries for breakfast, two of your favorites.  We opened presents as soon as possible (obviously.)  We saw some friends and you got to play outside quite a bit, since it was a gorgeous, sunny day.  We bought a birthday dinner and a cake from Kroger and I stuck more strawberries on it.  You blew out the candles like a pro!

Donies and strawberries.  A birthday breakfast.

surprised by balloons! (with morning hair!) she might kill me for this photo someday...

"Finola!  Look at all your balloons!"  This was as much fun for Cormac as the bday girl.

birthday hugs from brother!

balloons are fun to squish...and later pop

we couldn't wait til evening to open gifts...so we did it after breakfast!

It was a really sweet day.  

Happy 'two' to you, my crazy Blondie, my love.

nola + co-muck

Finola is 22 months old.  

Doesn't seem significant, except that it is for me.  It is the exact age Cormac was when I gave birth to his baby sister.   Cormac couldn't even say ten full words when he was 22 months, yet I was prepping him to abandon his position as baby, exit the crib for a "big boy bed" and be "big" when he was still so very small. It floors me every time I think about it.  She is so little.  He was so little.  But then he became a big brother.

Sure, people have kids close in age all the time, and he transitioned really wonderfully...but I am in awe that I was able to do that.  That I readied my brain for such a change - to have two babies. 

they didn't always take to each other...

Well, I can safely say that she is nearly two and I am not pregnant.  I can focus on her and her brother without getting lost in the excitement of a new tiny one entering the world.  I know how lovely and distracting that can be!

We are still praying about whether adding another baby, God-willing, to the mix is a good idea for us.

Whatever we end up deciding, I am enjoying Finola being a "baby" still.  

She is a lot different than her quiet (then), serious, contemplative brother was at this point.  She is a wild, dancing, very vocal whirlwind of curls.  She likes to make us laugh and be the center of attention.

She sings with me constantly.  Anything I start singing she will sing along.  (I mean, she doesn't say every single word - but she hits the important ones.)  Her favorites are anything from Frozen, 'The B-I-B-L-E,' and 'Goodnight, My Someone.'  She will sing anything, though - in a deep, sometimes creepy, throaty warble.

In fact, if we even faintly hear music playing somewhere she will start moving side-to-side and bobbing her head.  The other night in Chipotle she put on a crazy dance review to the loud salsa music for all the restaurant to enjoy.  (Cormac joined in, too, not to be outdone in silliness.)

She can count to ten.  Okay, well, sort of.  It is funny to hear her try.  I know she can't really count, and she is just repeating what she hears constantly, but she looks so proud when she does it!  "One - doo - tree -fo - five - six - funny - eight - noin - ten!"

If you ask her what her name is, she points to herself and says, "Nola."  She also identifies correctly most other close family members in photos.  "Co-muck" was one of her first words - of course.

She speaks in two-word sentences, which is awesome because we can actually communicate with each other quite a bit.  "Sit down!"  "Not nice." "Too slow!" (when we are playing "high fives") "Go now!" (when we are paused at a red light) are a few.  She is super bossy.

She loves to joke and play.  She is sneaky, yet completely adorable.

It is not all fun and games.  She has her trying aspects.  Sometimes she screams and cries and absolutely nothing I do will help.  Believe me, I try everything, but she wants nothing to do with me.  She just seems to want to throw a fit...and then when she is all cried out she is fine. (Yes, Hubby, that does sound familiar. Yes, we do know where she gets it from.)  I haven't quite figured out what to do with this charming aspect of her personality yet...but because I can relate to it I deal with it pretty gracefully.

She is not exactly the kindest to other "little friends" - in that she will stiff-arm them if they come near anything she is playing with and yell, "No! Mine!"  

She has a naughty smile and seems to mock my efforts at putting her into a time out for discipline.

Despite all that, to me she is so much fun and I can honestly say I delight in nearly all of our interactions.  My favorite is our bedtime routine, which she insists must be done by "Mama!!!!!" through shrieking and panicked tears if any attempt is made by Dada to do it.   I don't mind because, honestly, the child is the easiest kid to put to bed.  Ever.  When I leave her room she always cheerfully waves, blows kisses and says "Bye!"

Cormac is heading towards turning four, and I can't even believe how quickly the past two years went since he became a big brother.  The supposed "terrible twos" and "more terrible threes" whipped by.  It is honestly all a blur.  A blur of chicken nuggets and runny noses and play dates and dirt and laundry.  Oh, and sure, tantrums, epic tantrums, followed by a plethora of ways to deal with tantrums, some more helpful than others.   I often feel guilty, because I know he is the "test child" for two very inexperienced parents.   I hold him to a higher level than Finola, without really intending to.  I have expected him to grow up and be a big boy faster than a kid should.   I guess that is typical "first born" mama guilt stuff.

He loves volcanoes, dinosaurs, racing, playing tag, playing monsters (really any 'pretend play') helping Dada build things, and any type of "shooter."  Total boy.  Although, he will ask to have his nails painted and play with Finola's dolls.

He is still my spirited child.  A definite extravert - craving "conversation" and "moral support" (his words) at every moment, particularly while pooping.  He seems to always want to have someone to play with and talk to, and is really, really loud a lot of the time - which makes his easily over-stimulated and introverted mama a little crazy.  He has an astounding long-term memory, is incredibly perceptive, and a total perfectionist.

While Finola is brazen and will look you straight in the eye to see your reaction to whatever it is she has done, Cormac is prone to whine, make every excuse in the book,  and avoid eye contact.

Finola and Cormac have an interesting relationship.  For the most part, they get along okay.  But believe me, they are not angels, and my sanity is tried every day.   They poke at each other constantly.  Constantly.  They push and steal toys from each other.  Cormac will bury her in pillows, toys or whatever he can find and stand there while she screams her head off.  He will take her stuff and hide it.  She will grab him in a hug and try to drag him to the floor while he hollers in annoyance.

I can't even say they look innocent...

But then there are those moments when he calls her his "best friend."  When she feels bad that she upset him and says "Saw-wy" and goes in for a bear hug.  When they climb into her crib together and play dolls.  When I overhear him "teaching" her something.  (He is way nicer to her when I am in a different room, overseeing them in secret.)

I cannot, at this point in time, because of their dynamic and very strong personalities, imagine adding another to the mix.  I don't think we are capable of producing calm and quiet children - they are destined to be high-energy, loud and very spirited.   I wonder whether my psyche could handle more noise on a day-to-day basis.

Until we decide, I am going to just enjoy letting Finola remain "the baby" and Cormac the "big brother" who will always be my first "baby."

climbing trees is totally his thing.

'Cra-z-sand - not as tasty as I thought it would be." 

Cormac's intense concentration when doing a project is fun to watch.  The giant tantrum if it doesn't work "perfectly" -- not as fun.  

finola has ne'er a worry in the world about the hot mess she may look at any given moment.

girry the giraffe has been loved to the point of losing his stuffing.

"If there is a puddle I gotta jump in it - duh."

he loves puppet shows and simply telling stories. lots and lots of stories.

accessorizing is her jam.

reading to a very inattentive monkey

he has mastered the art of cheesin' for a selfie

So there is my very wordy update of the little ones.   If I think of anything new I will wait for their birthday posts in a couple months.

They are wild and naughty and sweet and sassy.
They are treasures, both.

girlie things.

I never knew how much having a girl would affect me...

....having a girl who is apparently just like me.

Sure, she looks a lot like I looked at her age...

blonde, curls, blue eyes, stocky build.

But more than that, we have a lot of personality similarities,

from what I hear from my parents, photos and home movies that I used to pore over, observations from my husband, 

and my own memories of being a tot.

She's an introvert - she loves her crib and is totally fine playing in there by herself for a while after waking up.  (Cormac has never been this way - he wants out and to be around people as soon as he wakes up!)  She loves social interaction for a little while...but you can tell when she reaches her limit and all she wants is Mama.  She has perfected the stiff-arm if anyone gets in her way of this.

She is a total button-pusher.  She knows exactly what you don't want her to do and will purposely do it and watch your face, while smiling a mischievous smile, for a reaction.  Most of the time I find this amusing, but Cormac does not.  Whenever he wants to be left alone she laughs uproariously and tries to hug him and wrestle him.  I remember tormenting my little brother, as well as my older sister, just like this.

I would say that I have seen the light as to how annoying unwanted hugs are...

but I knew it back then even back then

That is what made it fun!  

We make the same facial expressions.  The "piggy-face" I constantly made as a kid she has down perfectly.  She also has her "intense look" (or "RBF") when she is concentrating even mildly, which I am known for.   I often get mistaken for "angry" and "serious" and even "stuck up" because of my facial expressions.  So she has that to look forward to.

She also loves all things girlie.

Her favorite activity (besides annoying her brother) is playing with my jewelry.

We recently reached important "hair milestones" with her first ponytail, a teeny tiny one, and first pigtails!

kinda pathetic...but I'll take it!

piggy tails!  (ignore the fact that she is eating toast...on the couch...)

 She also is enamored with fingernails.  Not only does she not mind at all having them trimmed, but she brings me nail polish, always bright pink, and says, "paint" in a rather bossy tone.  I happily oblige and she stands perfectly still while I paint each tiny nail.  Then we both blow on them to dry, and I tell her to "wave 'em like you just don't care!" and she waves her wet nails deftly through the air and it is honestly the cutest.  Just love how serious she is about not messing up her 'manicure.'  

check out those pink nails!

eating cake together.

Anyway, we have fun, us girls.

(And Cormac.  it should be pointed out that Cormac also loves playing with my jewelry and having his nails painted. I steer him away from the fluorescent pink, though.)

finola - 18 months!

              

Dear Finola, 

On Thursday you turned eighteen months.

I have struggled to write this post because everyone (including you) has been sick this week and it has been a blur of night wakings and coughing and rubbing Vick's on chests.  But I know if I don't get this down it will only get harder and harder to do.

So here goes...

Since your first birthday you have quickly leapt from crawling baby with a few little curls behind her ears  to walking, running, dancing, "hopping" crazy little girl with wildly bouncing blonde mane who has a daily increasing vocabulary.

You have quite a few more words than your brother did at this point, which has been super fun!  You say words like "bummer" "hop-hop" "juice" "up" "done" "dog" and are awesome at repeating things.

I still consider you a fairly "easy" baby (which, of course, is all relative.  My "hard" might be another person's "easy" or vice versa) but you have started to have some "pre-terrible twos meltdowns."  Girl, your meltdowns are a considerably more dramatic than your brother's ever were.  If you are told "no" (even in a quiet and patient tone) you shriek in the highest pitch I've ever heard,  crumble to the floor in a "child's pose" (we speak in yoga often in our house) and many times will try to bang your little blonde head into the floor (which I gently prevent while rubbing your back.)  You have also hit me in the face and pulled my hair when mad...which I am not a huge fan of.  

You do funny things like sit on Cormac's toilet (clothed) and yell "POT!" and then go through the motions of brother's bathroom routine.  I have to prevent you from flushing the toilet a million times.  Does this mean you will potty train early?  Boy, wouldn't that be lovely!

You are still a really, really good eater, favoring fruit over any other food.  You are in the 30th percentile for height, and 80th for weight.  The doc said at some point soon you will become a pickier eater and have a growth spurt...so I am going to enjoy your chunk while I can.

please nola, always eat your cake with gusto!!!

Still a great sleeper.  So, so, so easy to put down for naps and bedtime.  Now you like to have a pillow and be tucked in with your blankie like a big girl.   You always ends up back on your tummy though, per usual, sprawled out and breathing noisily.   You sleep just like your Dada...while Cormac sleeps peacefully on his back, completely silent, like Mama.

You started walking just before turning 14 months old.  You are now my little dancer who twirls and moves happily to any music you like. There are even songs I will sing that you will hum and bob your head and try to sing along with.

You fold your hands to pray at mealtime prayers, and even say some of the words...which melts me, of course. 

You love to help me do all kinds of chores, especially cooking.  I am praying this continues and you and your brother will spend a lot of time with me in the kitchen, honing our skills.  I didn't start cooking until I was twenty-six years old and married,  so you will have an awesome head start, I hope!

mama's helper always!

You cling to me most times when upset, but your adore your Dada and whenever you hear my phone ring or the door open you yell, "Dada, dada, dada!" excitedly and run for the door.    You are pretty affectionate with people you know.  I am dreading your teenage years because you have a sweet, flirty smile and sparkle in your eyes that will capture any heart.

Of course, you also have a deadpan stare (and strong arm) that could deter any unwanted affections...so perhaps we are safe?

just started walking - still tentative!

loooooves to swing!

with great grandpa - she's a total cuddler 

sometimes a wide stance is necessary.

snuggles from her pop-pop

jumping on beds and wrestling with her brother are a couple of her favorite activities.

I promise she usually wears pants.

swingin' with grampa

getting dirty does not bother her.

mostly a mama's girl...but definitely loves her some dada, too!

that smile is how I'll always remember her at this age

piggy face.

"Hold hands with you?  Not so sure about that..."

white tights never a great idea with this one.  does not fit our lifestyle.

  I think perhaps you might have inherited my unintentionally expressive face.  You can't really hide your emotions.  The flip side of that is your joy and laughter is loud and boisterous and infectious.  Your serious, perplexed stare is kind of fun, too.  I relate to it well...

annoyed...probably due to the forced family photos.

"Fine mom. I'll wear this flower costume.  But I won't like it."

CANDY!!!!

probably a sugar meltdown.  just sayin'.

my little poofy snow angel

you can't see it but she is carrying a walking stick.  a future outdoorswoman, I'm sure!

While I'm sad I never got to have the same one-on-one relationship I had with your brother at this age, I am overjoyed to get to watch you together.  There is fighting, there is irritation, there is laughter, there is love...

I love the two of you together, despite the chaos that always ensues.  However, I savor the "stolen" moments alone with you, as well.  Like while Cormac is at pre-school for a couple hours several days a week, or when you first wake up from your nap and I let brother watch a show just so we can hang out a little bit.

so we both look a little frazzled here -- but this is our mama/daughter reality.  

I pray for you every day and that I can always be the mother that you need - better than my natural abilities allow.

I love you, little girl!

Mama