Tuesday, November 1, 2011

mama confessions: bottle love


It has been a rough week.  We decided to begin sleep-training Baby Mac, which means no more swaddling him up tight like a newborn and rocking him to sleep before placing him in the crib.  Now it is naptime/bedtime routine {feed, change, sing a song while rocking him a couple minutes} and place him down awake...to let him fuss {read: wail} until he self-soothes to sleep.

I thought this would be traumatic, but fortunately he has not cried more than 15 minutes before falling asleep.  Of course, those 15 feel like 30 to me.

The more difficult part: Baby Boy decided to wean himself off of the breast
 {which he now will grab, scream at, smile at, play with, but no, not eat from} in favor of the blessed bottle.  
The bottle that he loves to hold up himself.  
The bottle that makes his eyes light up when he sees it on the warmer.
Coming to grips with being done breastfeeding has been pretty hard on me.  I loved that bond we had for nearly four months.  The thought of consciously letting my milk "dry up" is really depressing to me.  Hubby tries to comfort but for a man this "loss" is probably very hard to understand.  The fact is:  baby is ready to let go of breastfeeding, and I'm not.  However,  I would rather see him happy and satisfied than agitated and hungry all the time.
So I'm trying not to view it as the end of the world, and look at the bright side.

Bright side?  
He is getting bigger!

Bright side?  
No more nursing bras and pads!  

Bright side?  
I can cut calories now and lose those last 4 pounds!

Bright side?  
It only makes me more excited to have another baby!
{in a couple years!}
g