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Tuesday, February 4, 2014

//blessed//

I come in from the cold to a burst of warmth that covers my face.
I hear laughter from my 2-year-old son upstairs,
and giggly squeals from my baby girl,
playing with their dada while I had been out running errands.

Hearing this I suddenly am overcome with emotion.
I drop the bags of groceries that had been burdening my arms
and I feel a sob caught in my throat.
I am blessed and have no idea why.
I have done nothing to deserve this bright warm house
or these beautiful souls entrusted to me.
I have done no great thing.

Yet, here it is and there they are.
I hear the running through the halls,
our old house quaking with young energy.
I can see, without seeing, the expressions:
wide-mouthed grins
dancing, innocent blue eyes crinkled with joy,
or brows furrowed from the concentration and effort
of building block towers or trying to stand.

So many days I am overcome for other reasons...
Stressed from reprimanding.
Out of breath from hurriedly readying two toddlers for the day.
Irritated by my own lack of patience.
Disappointed by a burst of quick temper, from me or the 2-year-old.

But not today,

when the house is warmer than the winter air
and stepping into it is like stepping into sunshine.

Today I will not question my abilities as a mother
or my deservedness of happiness.
Today I will just let this blessed feeling wash over me.

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