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Friday, March 6, 2015

a weird (but good) piece of dating advice...

I am pretty sure when giving unsolicited advice to my kids about how to choose a spouse (because I am positive they are going to be reallllllly interested in all I have to say on the subject) I will tell definitely tell them this:

Choose someone you love to travel with.

Travel compatibility probably won't make or break a marriage...but it can greatly enhance it.  This is especially true if you crave travel adventures, as I have my entire life thanks to a father who took us as to as many campsites and mountaintops and points-of-interest as he possibly could throughout our childhood.  Most travel-lovers will want to continue having adventures when they get married.  Thus, it is wise to enjoy going on adventures with that person you married to, otherwise you may develop one of three problems:

1. You want to travel with friends - or by yourself - all the time and that could make your spouse jealous or resentful of the time spent away from him/her.  
2. You travel with your spouse and you end up wanting to kill each other.
3. You don't travel.

Yikes.  None of those sound appealing - to me, at least.

Hubby and I learned when we were twenty and went on our first vacation together (Cancun) that we were pretty good travel partners.  Even though technically we were broken up at the time, we still had an awesome time together!

Thirteen years later, we have gone on a lot of trips - both elaborate/pricey and cheap/rustic - and never fail to have a great experience.  It wasn't something I was necessarily looking for in a life partner, but I feel blessed that it worked out this way.

Here is why we "work" as travel partners: 
  • Neither of us love packing in a ton of activities.  Yeah, we've scuba'd and snorkeled and visited ruins.  We've both summited mountain peaks and whitewater rafted and hiked the Grand Canyon...but our best memories of travel together are of long conversations over lots of drinks and eating pizza in our hotel room.  We'll do the activities -- but given the choice we'd both pick a lazy and relaxing time together.  Yep, we are lazy, lazy people on vacations (not in real life) who like to eat and drink and read books and basically lay there.  A lot.
  • We both like to camp (in tents) and our best travel stories do not involve fancy places.  (In fact, the best memory we both have is always the night we sat at a hotel bar drinking and playing cards all night.)  We both like to do ridiculous things like order pizza to eat in our hotel room or go out to a movie even if we are in an exotic locale.
  • We looooooove long road trips together.   Both like to be in the driver's seat (but yes, we do complain about each other's driving - "Just go back to sleep!" or "Then you drive!" - both said usually by me when my driving abilities are questioned) and are okay plowing through long trips overnight, enjoy gas station snacks, rest area exploration, and occasionally sleeping in the back of our vehicle to save cash.
  • We are okay spending time alone or apart during vacations.  I escape to the gym on a regular basis, or to run, and he sometimes needs to take REALLY long naps.  This "alone time" is necessary for both of us and makes the trip even better in the end.
  • We will indulge each other in the things the other likes to do.  For example, I have driven to many a sporting event to watch Kentucky play basketball (I am not very into sports.)   For his part, Paul will stop wherever I want to stop with no complaint - book stores, coffee shops (he doesn't drink coffee) and weird roadside flea markets.
All that being said - we had a great time relaxing (being lazy) in Mexico last week.  The first "romantic warm weather getaway" we have had since getting married that I was not pregnant during!  Travel notes and more pics to come!
mexico adventuring - then and now!
Who do you most love to travel with?
What weird piece of advice will you give to your kiddos about marriage/dating?