Thursday, July 25, 2013

{how motherhood has changed me}

  • I used to really care what I look like.  I still do - sometimes - like if Hubby and I are going out on a date or we are going to a special event.   But in general I don't seem to have time or energy for that. I exit the house looking bedraggled half the time.  Forgetting makeup, hair in a messy updo, wearing yoga pants and a spitup stained shirt, praying that my nursing bra is in place.  I don't tan anymore - not even a spray tan (and who has time to apply self-tanner???)  When I do put on makeup it is usually with one baby squirming on the floor and another running around my feet impatiently, so it ends up being a rushed, half-finished look.  (Ever put eyeliner on one eye and forget about the other??? This girl has.)  I still want to look good, and I am not at all saying that when you are a mama you just "let yourself go." definitely takes a backseat to a million other things.
  • I used to be extremely selfish.  What I mean is: life was all about me.  How was I feeling?  Was I happy?  Was I getting to do all the things I wanted?  I won't lie - I pretty much thought the world revolved around me.  Now my focus is on two little ones.  Are they sleeping enough?  Are they eating enough?  Are they developing at a normal rate?  Are they happy?  Am I giving them enough attention?  It is funny how your mindset totally changes when you have little ones.
  • I used to live recklessly.  Not that I am some rebel...but I didn't put a lot of thought into the results of my actions.  In my 20's I made choices that could have ended up badly.  I won't elaborate but I can look back on many moments and thank God that I came out okay after each one - whether it be mentally or physically.  I could write some interesting stories.   Now I worry about each thing I do.  You can't be reckless with kiddos.  Your actions affect them.  They see it all.  They hear it all.  They need you.  I worry every time I drive them anywhere.  Every time they leave with their dada and I imagine how awful it would be if it was the very last time I saw them.  I try to be adventurous, yet after each adventure I have a inner mini freak-out thinking about all the things that could have gone wrong on said adventure.  
  • I used to go to bed between 11 and midnight.  Now I fall asleep on the couch at 9pm.
  • I used to get annoyed at the mamas with the screaming children out and about.  Now I am one.
  • I used to work out to look good.  Now I work out to be able to lift a carseat and a toddler at the same time.  Okay, and to look good.  And the endorphins.  And so I can eat copious amounts of ice cream.  Alright, I work out for a lot of reasons.  But, first and foremost - mamas gotta be strong!
  • I used to skip breakfast.  Now that I have a little guy that needs a hearty breakfast I have been making hot breakfasts every morning.  I thought back to my dad making us hot breakfasts every morning before school, and decided Hey, I can do that!   I love it.  The girl who used to get stressed out at the thought of scrambling eggs now slings out breakfast to kid and hubby like a short-order cook.  I even eat some myself!  Progress, people.   
  • I used to drink a normal amount of coffee.  Now I drink coffee whenever I have time to make some - or pass a Starbucks.  No joke.
So those are just a few ways being a mama has changed me.  It will continue to change me.  I welcome the changes, for the most part.  I think motherhood has made me a better person.  Maybe slightly frumpier...but better.  :)

How has motherhood changed you?