Friday, July 22, 2011

mama confessions: the first week

I have survived week one with a newborn!
So considering that before this I had never babysat an infant or even changed a diaper, I am pretty proud of myself!

Confession:I have to laugh at myself for thinking in any way, shape or form that I was "ready" to have a baby.  At the right point in life? Yes.  With the right partner?  Oh definitely yes.  {Hubby has been amazing!}
But "ready" to "have" a baby?
Not quite.
If you've never had a baby before, you won't really know what hit you when they finally arrive.  You can read all the manuals on pregnancy and delivery and babies.  You can see the words and learn the definitions such terms as "episiotomy" and "meconium" and "colostrum" and "uterine contractions" think naively: "I have educated myself for this experience - bring it on!"

Again, I laugh, because this was me: anxiously and happily waiting for the birthing experience.  But there are things you blissfully ignore when reading about labor and your new baby:  

1. Your carefully drafted birth plan can fly out the window faster than you can say: "I need the epidural!"
2. When your "milk comes in" {not at all like your "ship coming in"} you may randomly leak/projectile squirt everywhere no matter how often you feed your darling babe.  Invest in lots and LOTS of nursing pads.
3. Even if you don't have a C-Section, there is still significant recovery time.  You will hurt places you don't want to hurt, you will not be able to walk far, and the most lovely part is that for several days you will have to change your own "diapers" {which takes longer than changing your baby's.} 
4. Coming home from the hospital with your new baby can be terrifying.  (I hugged my dog as soon as I came in the door and wept at his wet kisses and familiarity.  A new mama has a LOT of hormones going on.)
5. The first few will not sleep.  Pretty much at all.

But you know what?
Even if I had known/acknowledged all these things...I wouldn't go back and change it for the world.  

Cormac has been a dream baby.  He is quiet and sweet and basically sleeps most of the day.  He rarely cries and is easy to comfort when he does - change him, feed him, or hold him.  It is amazing to look at him and see his ever-changing facial expressions, how strong his arms and legs are already, and enjoy those rare moments in the day when his eyes are open and gazing around.  The nights have been challenging as he is up more then and I'm not good at napping during the day; however, he is slowly sleeping more hours at a time at night.  Mama and Daddy have just had to sleep on his nursery floor the past few nights.  Small price to pay for some sleep, right?  
Did I mention he sleeps a lot during the day?

Despite all his sleeping...I am still exhausted!

Much love from this tired new mama,