Friday, August 31, 2012

memories from a home.

Last night, for the first time, I sort of panicked about moving into the 'dream home.' I realized it means actually leaving our current home, where we have lived for the past three years.  Our relationship, family, and careers went through many changes during this time.  I know three years isn't long in the grand scheme, but it feels like an eternity of memories.  Some big ones were...
  • adopting our goldendoodle Colbie - we were happy he had a yard to romp around in!
  • my first pregnancy!
  • welcoming our sweet baby Cormac into the world
  • three different job changes for Hubby
  • my first year as a stay-at-home mama
  • and many, many celebrations!
Here are just a small smattering of photos taken in and around our home....
our pup enjoying the yard when we first moved in
visit from my sister - nov 09 - before we re-did the pavers and porch
thanksgiving dinner - 2009 - during my bright green dining room phase
my 29th birthday!  always love coming downstairs to fresh flowers from the hubby
popeye and pocohontas ready to go out!   halloween 2010
after the doc confirmed I was preggo!
new years eve- 2010
24 weeks - the master bath has the best sunlight!

on the couch with dada
in the oversized, comfy nursery chair -  where I spent a LOT of time nursing this guy
I loved having a backyard to 'adventure' in with our babe.

preparing for our prague trip - getting used to the bjorn 

was he really this tiny...and immobile???
christmas 2011

on the back patio, drinking tea
sweet babe in his nursery
the kitchen - where all the magic - and messes - happen
trying to capture the entire fam hanging out in our bedroom
the kitchen floor - where you will most likely find these two boys.
hubby's 31st birthday

'hey mom - some privacy please!' - tub time
two peas in a pod - in the nursery/guest room

Game night!
taking his first steps
the first birthday party

learning & playing

'mama, you shouldn't leave your journal hanging around...' - the master bedroom is where we read a bit and, of course, snuggle and play!
I enjoyed planting and watching our garden grow!

this is what we call 'dump truck alley' - aka the dining room
we took many a backyard pic
fall 2011
Soon we'll be saying goodbye to this house, 
and hello to a new house, new adventures,
new memories.

But for now...

hello to much, much more packing!

Thursday, August 30, 2012

chinese birth chart: a sham... *tear*

This is exactly why I am (usually) not superstitious.

My one superstitious weakness was the Chinese Birth Chart, which, because every single mama I had talked to said it was correct in their case, I decided maybe the Chinese knew what they were talking about.

I even started looking ahead to the next twelve months, deciding which specific months Hubby and I might possibly try to conceive our second child.  {I'll let you guess whether we would prefer a girl or a boy.}

Yes, I know.  Crazy.  Obsessive planner.  Nutcase.

My husband in particular thought it was annoying that I would put faith in any such chart.  "It is always a 50/50 chance," he would say, ever my logical better-half.

Still I would argue that because of how many people it is accurate for there must be something to this chart.

It was true for all three of my sister's babies.  It was accurate for every pregnant friend of mine thus far.

Then, recently I discovered that some of these friends had gone by a completely different chart than I had. Somehow, the Chinese have at least two charts predicting their births.  Wha???

Here is the one I went by when I was pregnant with Cormac:

It showed that Cormac was, in fact, a boy.

However, I recently was shown, by my blog friend Julie, that the chart she had looked at {which had correctly predicted the gender of her son} was completely opposite of what mine said.  Check it out here:

Hers says Cormac should have been a girl.

It doesn't happen often, but let the record show, Hubby : I was wrong.  :}

I will hereby cease my obsession with the Chinese Birth Chart.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

8 fears

What scares me?  In reality, not a lot.
But most fears are not based on reality.

Eight fears...
  1. spiderwebs - I've freaked out many a time after running into a spider web.  I immediately think the web had at least three spiders on it that are now stuck in my hair.
  2.  heights - I don't like looking down from high places, or looking up at really tall things.
  3.  the possibility of someone hiding in the shower, waiting to attack me - I check it every time.
  4. small spaces - my older brother once {twice? thrice?}locked me in a trunk when I was little.  Not cool, bro!  
  5.  kidnappers - I assume every stranger may be secretly plotting to kidnap my child.
  6. scary movies - I will not watch them.  My imagination is too active.  Thanks, but I'll pass on being paranoid for the entire next day after watching one. 
  7.  car accidents - I was in several when I was younger and I still have flashbacks.
  8. tickling - I was tickle-tortured constantly by the aforementioned older bro as a child, and it left me with a major tickle fear.  Sometimes I will just imagine my husband tickling me and I will freak out.  I would rather have you punch me than tickle me.  In fact, I have punched people for tickling me.  
Or just punch ticklers.

(Sorry this post was a quickie, 
but I have LOTS of packing to do!)

Linking here again...

Be brave, my friends!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

the drop leaf table: {inspirations}

Growing up we had a drop-leaf table in our home.  For a good long while it was in our laundry room, acting as a folding table, painted yellow, with a dog crate housing a very angry lhasa apso named Buffy underneath.

Then, when I was a teenager, it was painted cream and placed in my bedroom.  It became a writing desk.  I had a typewriter {yeah, well, I was old-school.}  I had big dreams sitting at that drop-leaf table. Writing dreams, including novels.  Oh, and I did homework there, too...when I wasn't distracted by my writing dreams.

Now it is my older sister's drop leaf table.  She painted it again, and it looks absolutely lovely in her home, with a pretty Eiffel Tower lamp placed upon it. 

A couple years ago I began thinking about that table.  Imagining one of my very own.  Then, recently, I began actually looking for a table just like it.   Pretty easy to find on Craig's List, it turns out.   So I plucked down $35 bucks and began dreaming.

Here are a few of my inspirations, via Pinterest...

I know the last beauty isn't a drop leaf...but it inspired me nonetheless.

I have already painted the legs and the I am just trying to get the top right.  Needless to say, I am experiencing a major learning curve when it comes to using power sanders.  Or, in fact, any type of sanding.  Eek.

Reveal to come soon!

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

nine loves

I think the word love is tossed around a lot.  By everyone, including me.  Really casually.   "I love this picture!"  "I love your hair!"  "I love wine!" I say things like this all the time without even thinking about the word.  Better to say "love" a lot, than "hate," right?

I've done posts about "loves" before, including beauty products, baby items, paint colors...but this time, I'll take it a bit more seriously.  Some of what I write you may find trite, or not agree with, and that is okay.  I am okay with differences and disagreements - just keeping it honest.

I decided to think about what truly makes my heart melt.  What brings tears to my eyes when I even contemplate its absence?  What makes life meaningful for me?

Nine loves, in no particular order:

1. My family...I love them all, but specifically writing here about the one I was born into. Dad, mom, brothers and sister.
this was almost four years ago...the fam has grown since then!
there is nothing like having a sister.
I love that I have siblings, and even though we all are scattered in different parts of the country now, the times when we do see each other I feel the love. I don't know if everyone feels this way about their parents and siblings.  I just know I am forever grateful that I have these relationships.  That I have the memories I have growing up with such a close family.   Those moments growing up - Christmas Eve, every Sunday crammed into a church pew together, camping trips, vacations, and even just simple times, like at supper, eating together.  Those moments are what makes me want to have more babies - my experience with family.  Well, at least one more baby.  Someday.

2. My husband...this guy.
The fact that God led us to each other and made us for each other overwhelms me every time I think about it.  Sometimes I come across letters {yes, handwritten letters, despite the fact that we both had email} he wrote me in college, while we were broken up.  Just telling me what he was up to, things he was excited about, people he met.  In these letters he would crack jokes, keep it really casual, and at the same time, without really saying it, let me know that he still cared about me.  Every time I read these letters I sob.  Literally break down with emotion.  Why?  Because I think about how at any time during one of those breakups he could have met someone else and fallen in love with her.  Or just gotten sick of writing me letters.  But those things didn't happen, and I am thankful for that every day.

3. Work...I know what you are thinking, no one loves work.  But I do.  Work gives me a sense of purpose, a goal, and keeps me focused.  You know what 'they' say about idle hands?  I believe that.  I particularly love working as a stay-at-home mama.  Don't get me wrong:  I loved working outside the home, too.  There were only two jobs I held that I didn't like - anything fast food-related and when I was a high school teacher  -- the rest were awesome.  I was a retail worker and manager for ten years, and then worked in the temporary staffing field for three years.  I loved the people, dressing stylishly for work every day, making money and how busy I was.  Sometimes I miss having a job outside the home...but then I think about how much I love what I do.  I genuinely love "homemaking."  I think this word conjures up different images for different people.   For me specifically, being a stay-at-home-mama and homemaker {two separate aspects of my job} Mama means: making sure baby feels safe, teaching baby, loving baby, nourishing baby, setting an example for baby, keeping baby clean.  Being a homemaker {to me} means: keeping the house tidy/organized, cleaning the house regularly,  providing healthy and delish food in said home, staying within our financial budget, being a helpful/loving wife, making the house a home, keeping myself healthy and happy so that I can do all these things.   I am certainly not successful every day at all of these things -- but I like striving to be the best at what I do.  As with any job, I make goals, prioritize, hold myself to high standards, and reward myself when I deserve it!  {Glass of wine each night?  Don't mind if I do! Hubby takes baby while I spend Sunday afternoon shopping or a Thursday night out with girlfriends? Um, yes!} Also, as with any job, I have to devise new and more effective ways of doing things, manage my time wisely, adapt to changes, etc. I love work because it makes me think, makes me extend myself, puts me outside my own head, and it is rewarding, whether financially or otherwise.

4. My kiddo...this guy.

I always thought - well, before I had a baby - that I could never love a person as much as my husband.  Even after I had the baby I worried that I wouldn't have enough love for both.  That my marriage would suffer, or I would be a bad, selfish mama.  As time went by, ever so quickly, I realized that your capacity for love expands a thousand-fold when you have children.  You become more loving, not only toward your little one, but for other people and other babies.  It is hard to explain...but I think most parents know how I feel.

5. Jesus.  As someone who deals with anger and depression issues, I can tell you this one thing:  I could not have this life I have today without my love and faith in Jesus Christ, and His love for me.  I would be an angry, sad, shriveled little nothing without this love.  I would be lost and broken.  I would be literally cut and bruised.  I would not look at the future with joy and calm and peace.  Without this specific love there would only be me and this world, and that is a disturbing and lonely thought.   No matter what your beliefs or who/what you put your faith in -- I hope it makes you feel this kind of love.

6. Pregnancy.  I simply love the process of making a baby.   Okay, I'm not just referring to the act of sex {which is kind of, well, awesome} but the start-to-finish process of creating human life.  Controversial, maybe, but I believe life begins at conception.  I believed this before I had a baby, and am even more passionate in this belief now.   After feeling my body change completely only weeks after conception.   After hearing the heartbeat, strong and steady, when he was only a teeny tiny little speck on the radar.  After seeing arms and legs and fingers waving, at 12 weeks.   Thinking, that is my baby.  That is, without a doubt, a human life.

 I don't write this to convince anyone of anything - just to express what I personally am convinced of.  Also, I don't write this because my pregnancy was a breeze, all roses and sunshine and gloriousness.  Nope, it was your pretty standard, nauseous constantly for the first half, pretty uncomfortable for the second half, kind of pregnancy.  I am thankful that there were no complications, but I definitely didn't escape most of the symptoms.  I still loved it.  Yay for babymaking!
enjoying the thirty-six week bump.
7. Being alone.  If you know me, you know I need my space.  I am an introvert.  I love quiet, personal time.  No matter if I am running, writing, shopping, or even something trivial, like the dishes, I place a high value on my alone time.  I think a lot, meditate, plan and pray during this time.  When I am deprived of it, I get agitated, at best.  Of course, there are many times I do genuinely enjoy socializing and can be very talkative, engaging, outgoing...but I prefer these social interactions to be well-planned out and sporadic.  I enjoy them more that way.
Source: via Lacey on Pinterest

8. Fresh air.   One of the reasons I love running, camping, and hiking is because it gets me outside.  I blame my Dad for this.  He ripped us out of Mom's arms at the age of three and took us out into the wilderness....and all four of his kids became nature lovers.   I am forever indebted to him for that.

9. Movement.  I think the bodily function that would be the hardest for me to lose would be the ability to walk.  I am constantly moving.  I find it quite hard to rest.  My mind especially.  But being able to run and be active calms my mind.  I hope I never have to deal with long-term lack of movement...but I realize it could happen, so I try every day not to take my body for granted.

Well, there are my deep thoughts for the week.  
What do you love?
Linking up again here...