expat life : our first year(ish) in the netherlands!

"So how are you doing over there?!?!?!"

It's a common and innocent question that, as an expat, you get all the time.  I usually give an honest answer, which is:  "Okay!"

We are okay.

Some days we LOVE it here in the Netherlands, if the sun is shining, if we've gone on a long bike ride, if we've finally made it to a museum or park we've been talking about for months.  With three kids we tend to stay close to home, but sometimes we venture out and see the cool stuff.  Having our third baby just before we moved here probably took a bit of the adventure out of our experience.  We rent a house in a quiet neighborhood on the outskirts (it kills the city girl in me to write 'suburbs') because when we were moving I couldn't imagine functioning in the bustling city center with an infant and two small kids! 

Other days I long for home and stare at the calendar wanting it to magically jump ahead to the end of our assignment.

just waiting for the bus, living our best lives.

Please don't read this as anything other than me being real.  YES, I am very grateful that we get to travel around to other countries and see new places with the kids. The school year is structured a bit differently here (shorter summer, more long breaks during the school year) so we take advantage of traveling during those breaks. I live for our adventures! But the fact is that the exciting adventures are 5% of our time here. The rest is just normal life.

At four months into our assignment I shared my thoughts in this post. The first four months were hard.

After six months things really started feeling more comfortable here.

After nine months I felt confident, even!

After nearly a year and a half? The shimmer has worn off a bit. Life is so much easier, but not as exciting, if that makes sense.  There is a flow of normalcy to our world now.

A few of the things I've learned here, about Dutch life and about myself...

1.  No, I'll probably never stop missing Target.

2.  I do miss seeing people lose their s*** sometimes. The Dutch seem very stoic and very practical.  This is nice...but also, sometimes maddening!  They will matter-of-factly point out when you are doing something against the rules, whether those rules be "official" or simply rules they believe all people should just follow.  Example : If it is a bit chilly and you aren't wearing a scarf they will point out your error.  Dress appropriately for all weather, all the time. Use the correct bike lanes. Enter bus from front and exit in the back. If you are carrying more than two grocery bags it is too much food.  Et cetera.

3. I looooooooove riding my bicycle and think all cities should have bike lanes like the Netherlands has.  It is awesome!

4.  People seem healthier here, in general.  I guess everyone is just biking everywhere and not buying very much food.  (see #8!) 

There are adventures to foreign lands, but mostly it is just our everyday adventures...like walking along the canals every day with Whit.

5 . Stores have VERY limited hours. For example, Sundays and Mondays most stores don't open until noon, grocery stores are not open past ten or open late on Sundays, so you definitely need to get your stuff while you can!

6.  On that note, if you don't buy your bread before 6pm you might not get bread. Also, if you don't eat it in a few days you'll need more bread, as it gets moldy fast!

7.  There is one facing of bagels in the grocery store (branded "American bagels") and if you want microwave popcorn you have two options : sweet or salty. However, there is an entire 4 ft section of mayonnaise! Big love for mayonnaise here.  And sprinkles!  

A couple dear friends I have made. 

8.  While I'm on this whole grocery store tangent : I ALWAYS seem to have have the most groceries in my cart of anyone in line.  An elderly Dutch woman asked me in a concerned voice the other day, "Where will you put all of that?" as she gestured at my overflowing shopping cart.  (The refrigerators here are tiny! And you can't buy in bulk.) Most people here go by the philosophy of "buy what you need for the day and then come back tomorrow."  I guess they don't have three kids, one being a baby who really hates being in a cart.  Side note: None of the carts here have seat buckles!  And they require a coin to ensure you always return it to the corral.  Also, make sure you bring your bags as you'll pay for new ones - no free bags 'round here.

having friends + family come visit is THE BEST when you're an expat!

9. Amsterdam is not the super trashy, horrifyingly vulgar place some Americans think it is...even the Red Light district.  It is pretty clean here, and I have felt very safe in general!  People are quiet and mainly keep to themselves. Any loud crazies in Amsterdam are usually tourists. If you've been to Bourbon St. in New Orleans...well, it is nothing like that. I adore New Orleans, it is one of my top five favorite cities, but it is full of drama and interesting characters! Amsterdam has tourists and the Dutch. (see #2) 

10.  So much daylight!  (But not necessarily sunlight.)  In the spring and summer it is bright out from 5am until 11pm.  Literally bright as day.  It is confusing for the kids at bedtime.  Blackout shades are a must.

5am. So bright!

11.  Flower and plant selection is SO GOOD HERE.  Quite inexpensive, and extra lovely!  There is no excuse not to buy yourself fresh flowers all the time. 

I try to get a fresh bouquet every week!

12.  We won't be an expat family for life - or probably even more than a few years.  Some fall in love with this expat life and the perks that go with it (and there are many!) Financially, if you move abroad on a corporate expat package it can be an amazing gift! That was one of our main reasons we took this assignment. Our goal is to be fully debt-free by the time we turn 40, and get back to the States with our mortgage completely paid off. Because of this goal we chose a modest home here within our expat home allowance (and collect rent on our home in the US to fast-track the mortgage pay down.) We drive the only car option we were given in the package (a super boring station wagon that we can barely squeeze our tiny blondies into.)  I still buy inexpensive clothes and accessories. We still operate by our Dave Ramsey "cash envelope system" - which doesn't work quite as well here, thanks to many Dutch cashless lanes. (Better have your PIN card!) The only things we DO spend more money on here than we used to are travel and babysitting!

I share all that to say : expat life is different for everyone!!!!  It all depends on what you want to get out of it. You make choices that work for your family and situation and goals. You might take your compensation package and add your normal mortgage spending to live a more stylish European lifestyle. You might splurge for the huge SUV (they are freakin pricey here!) You might hire an au pair or someone to clean your home every week (which is all comparatively less expensive here than in the States, but more expensive apparently than other countries.)  Your kids might be older and easier to take on fun excursions (or maybe they are tiny but you are way more chill than I am!)

Being an expat is definitely an amazing experience, no matter how you do it. If I could go back I wouldn't change my mind - I'd do this again in a heartbeat.

That being said, it has taught me to more fully appreciate the simple things...

such as Target and 24-hour grocery stores.