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| in the nursery. it is mostly done. my belly feels like a giant rock. |
But you are never really ready. I was NOT ready. I think this "readiness feeling" is our mind/body playing a fun trick on us new mamas...to help us at least "feel" prepared for labor. Funny how after labor your hormones make you feel all crazy, like 'life will never be the same!' and you may cry randomly over everything, including the loss of your former baby-free life.
(Just keep telling yourself, "It is only the hormones. I will feel normal again!")
Yes, the "new chapter" is amazing...but mamas...please enjoy those last few weeks sans kiddos! Go on those fun, unexpected movie dates. Hang out with your girlfriends by the pool and chat. Or go to restaurants as often as possible. You have NO idea what is coming.
Movie dates will soon be a luxury that rarely happen, especially if you are breastfeeding. Girlfriend dates to the pool will involve your post-baby belly, and a tot that may not really want to hang out at the pool at all. And may scream. And WILL poop. PS: wet swimmie diaps are super fun to change in a soggy pool bathroom. Just sayin'.
And restaurants? Ha. Hope you are ready for your beautiful babe to cry, need to be fed, interrupt every conversation you have, and throw things. Yes, they will throw things. A lot. Try having a meaningful conversation with your spoon being chucked to the ground or rice puffs being flung at your face.
Don't get me wrong - motherhood is beautiful. I love it, quite honestly. But it sure ain't easy, by any stretch.
This time around, my second pregnancy, the last few weeks are still irritating...but for different reasons. I am not hoping to go into labor anytime soon. I would gladly accept an appearance on or even a few days after my due date.
But I'm 5cm dilated...and not in labor (well, the "real deal" kind.) I have contractions every once in a while (besides the Braxton-Hicks) but they go away after an hour of consistency and me praying that I'm really not yet in labor.
Why am I dreading labor? It's not really the pain. More the knowing how much harder life is going to get. Juggling two babies. One who is not yet two and teething and has been throwing tantrums like a rock star lately. One who we tried to transition to a big boy bed, then realized after three weeks of him waking up super early and zombie-walking around until he found us, being cranky from his self-induced tiredness, and thereby making us zombie-walking parents. We realized he was definitely NOT ready for a big, unconfined bed...so we chucked out the cash for another crib. Life has been lovely for all since. Lesson learned.
Also, it is the fear that each sweet, private moment with my son is my last.
Every morning, when I get to go into his room to scoop him up and sing my 'good morning song,' I am grateful. Grateful for another day of just him and me, before things get a lot more crazy.
Every night when I put Cormac to bed I wonder if I really will "see {him} in the morning light" as I always tell him while gently pushing the blonde hair off his forehead. Or, rather, will I be at the hospital, and he will wake up with someone else there to take care of him, his world about to be rocked with a brand new sibling?
That is why, for now, labor can wait. Gonna enjoy every sweet moment as a mama-of-one that I get.
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Okay, okay, you've convinced me.
ReplyDeleteMike and I have gone on so many random dates over the past couple weeks because I've been having this freak out moment where this *could* just be our last weekend alone (obviously neither weekend has been). I sometimes feel guilty when I look at how much money we've spent on our dates, but at the same time, it's like we're stocking up on the dates we'll be missing out on for the next few months, right? And babysitters are freaking expensive, so when we are comfortable with using one, dates will likely be few and far between.
THANK YOU for the reminder that our lives are about to be flipped upside down and I should just enjoy these last few days/ this last week before baby gets here. I may be uncomfortable, but this is it - the end of this period of our lives (I sound so melodramatic - ha!).
Oh, that made me cry, Greta. You are so right. Enjoy every second with Cormac. I miss my Mack all the time. It isn't the same right now. Especially since I am breastfeeding, and have Maggie attached to me a lot. I miss just me and him time. I miss it a lot more than I could ever have imagined. I know it will change as she grows up, but for now it is hard.....
ReplyDeleteI can really relate. With each new child I felt that way. Our family was changing, and even though it was a welcomed, wonderful change, it was scary and there was the loss of what was. But just like they say, in time you will not believe it could be any other way than your family of four. Good luck mama! You are going to do great!!!
ReplyDeleteSO true.. it's hard enough for Moms to do things once, let alone two or three or more times! There are some nights where all my boys wake up independently for one reason or another and I put them each back in bed.. or two people need to share your lap or morning song and I think who the heck can do this??? But you know what.. that first picture you get where your lovely little boy is holding their baby sibling for the first time and looking at them with wonder you will know "yep, this is it.. this is meant to be" :)
ReplyDeleteThis was a really great post, and I'm glad that you're living in the moment and taking enjoying the pleasures of now, instead of wanting to move on (I can totally relate to this feeling, but outside of being pregnant and a momma, as I'm neither)
ReplyDeleteLove this picture!!
ReplyDeleteAnd oh my heavens... it was only a couple months ago that I felt like I would never be normal, yet lately I feel like I've totally got this mom thing down.
And then my hubs and I went to a movie on Saturday for the first time since Mia was born, and I loved it! I sat there thinking how much easier things were before Mia was here. We didn't give it a second thought when we went to the movies! But then, I never had a beautiful little face that made me so excited to go home to! And I'm about to take my baby swimming a few times this next week, and I can only imagine how fun those diaper changes will be, ha ha!
I think you'll find that being a momma of 2 is better than you could have imagined. Once you adjust, you'll learn how to give BOTH kids the attention they need. And you will love them each equally and with your whole heart :)