Sunday, November 13, 2011

{day four: four confessions}

***Note: I am currently doing a 7 day blog challenge, where I blog based on writing prompts from this post***

Source: via Paul on Pinterest

None of these are very flattering...but confessing awesome things doesn't make much sense, does it?  :o)
1.  I have pretty bad road rage I am the driver that will put her car half in the right lane and half on the shoulder to prevent other cars from passing on the shoulder in a traffic jam.  I will stop my car in the middle of the street so that you cannot go any further if you are driving the wrong way on a one-way street.  I do not normally use much profanity, but I curse like a sailor in the car by myself.  At other drivers.  Bad drivers.  I will give dirty looks and have been known to flash the middle finger in extreme circumstances.  Shameful, I know.
2.  I am a closeted Garrison Keillor fanatic.  If you have no idea who Garrison Keillor is, then never mind.  If you do you might be surprised that I love his novels.  They are not really what you learn to love as an English Literature major in college.  His stories gently poke fun at midwesterners and tend to be very tongue-in-cheek.  Usually I go for pretty dark, very metaphorical literature.  Keillor is just fun...and he reminds me of my home state of Minnesota.
3. I believe in ghosts.  Or perhaps it was an angel.  In any case, when I was eight years old I saw an apparition in broad daylight in a cemetery, no less.  It was only for about five seconds, then I looked away to tell my friend to also look up and see the elderly woman, bathed in sunlight, reaching down and touching a gravestone.  By the time my friend looked up the hillside towards where I was pointing the woman was gone.  I have never seen anything like it since, and I don't know why I saw it then, but it thrills me to know I got that glimpse of the "other side."
4. I have chronic depression.  Now before you start feeling sorry for me...don't.  I don't "confess" this for any type of sympathy, but to perhaps bring to light that depression is more common than most realize.  Also, a person with depression is not necessarily an unhappy person.  In general, I am very happy.  I love my life, and find great joy in many things.   Depression, for me, does not stem from any sad event that has happened in my life, but is simply something genetic that I've always dealt with.  Sometimes, for absolutely no reason at all, I feel sad and perhaps a little hopeless.  Call it a funk with no situation that caused it.  It might last several days.  I will first sit and try to figure out why I feel sad.  When I come to the conclusion I have nothing to feel sad about I realize it is just my depression kicking in.  Depression, depending on the severity and situation, is treated various ways.  Though I have contemplated medication over the years, I am personally not a fan of taking pills.  So instead of medication, I have learned what works for me.  One major thing is exercise.  I run or I go to the gym.  I work out a lot...always have, for this reason.  It makes me feel really good, no matter how bad I felt before I started.  I try to eat fairly healthy, and include food that are known to be "mood-boosting."  I also spend time outside and try to take in a lot of natural light...although even ten minutes in a tanning bed helps!  Sometimes I just need to ride it out...curl up in bed, perhaps have a good cry, armed with the knowledge that I will always feel better in a day or so.   I also find that writing helps -- I will pour my feelings out into my journal and usually then I can look at things more objectively...or at least I feel that I have gotten a lot off my chest.  I have learned to be open about my depression with loved ones.  I simply tell my husband how I am feeling, so he knows it is not him or anything is just the depression.  This is something that has taken me a long time to be able to do.  When I was a kid I didn't understand depression, because no one talked to me about it.  I am pretty thankful that at a fairly young age I was able to acknowledge there was something wrong, seek counseling, and be strong enough and self-aware enough to choose a plan of action that would work for my circumstances.  I think every person is faced with hurdles in their life and you can either stop running forward or learn to leap.

See...told you it would get deep. :D


  1. I am so impressed at your awareness about your depression and that you have found ways that work for you to deal with it. Even for people taking medication, that alone, is not the answer. It is really great that you know what you need.

  2. thank you for posting #4, about your personal struggles and revelations. what you've written could positively influence someone else who is suffering from depression too... someone who may not even know you personally and just "happens" upon this. (the beauty of blogging.) just this year alone i've had a handful of students hospitalized for depression/suicide attempts. :( i really wish this illness wasn't "taboo" for so many to talk about - that it's not seen as a "stigma" for so many... thank you for your courage.


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