mama confessions : handling two

It is no secret that our little Finola was a surprise.
I really wasn't expecting to get pregnant when we did, or to have two littles so close in age (less than 2 years.)

I wouldn't trade Finola for anything...but I still wish they were a little farther apart in age.

"What have I been born into???"

As a stay-at-home mom, handling two so young can be challenging. It is a juggling act that I often feel ill-equipped to perform.

Both need diaper changes.  Both cry often to communicate - despite the fact that Cormac talks a ton now.  Both want to be held.  Both want to be interacted with, but in totally separate ways.

Yes, those are marshmallows on his tray.  It is my latest form of bribery.

"Help!"

The hardest part - I constantly feel like I am failing one of them.  We can't really all "play" together.  I have to try to play with Cormac while I hold Finola.  I have to nurse Finola while trying to explain to Cormac why we can't go outside right this second.

I hear a lot of "No Baby!  Set down Baby!!!!"

"I think they forgot about me again."

Meanwhile, though she is patient as a saint, even Finola has her moments.  The past two days Hubby was out of town for work, and I had two days with no breaks, and doing the night time routine myself.   For some reason Finola didn't feel like napping much yesterday, which made it especially hard.  I didn't get my normal "alone time" with Cormac, or any time to myself for that matter.  Bathtime for both of them went okay, but at bedtime I had to set her down while reading Cormac his books.  She screamed next to us nonstop while I read Cormac Green Eggs and Ham.  I am not sure he could even hear what I was reading, although he seemed mesmerized.  I sang him a song and said prayers to the sound of screaming as well.  That was fun.

When I was finally able to leave the room and comfort Finola (while listening to Cormac fuss sadly and say "Mama come back!") I went to the nursery, offered her the breast and broke down into tears myself.

Yup.  Sometimes you just need a good cry.

Then she fell asleep and I skulked downstairs to pour myself a rather large glass of wine and eat some chocolate.

I know it will get easier.  She will get bigger and they will eventually play together.  He'll get potty-trained.  She'll go full-time on the bottle, which will make things more scheduled.  Her naps will become more regular.

It will all go so fast.

So, for now I will: 1) take one day at a time 2) thank God that Hubby doesn't travel often 3) view it all as a challenge that clearly someone up there thought I was capable of handling  and 4) religiously take my birth control.

I think two tiny ones are about all this mama can handle.  :o)

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