{a first birthday}

There are some things I won't go into detail about regarding our little man's first birthday party...the coffee I forgot to put out, the rain, the huge pile of decorations that got shoved in the basement at the last minute because I ran out of time, the food that wasn't quite ready, various wardrobe malfunctions, or the fact that I completely forgot to even do my hair.
None of it mattered at the end of the day anyway.

  What  mattered most was that Cormac was surrounded by so many of the people that love him {and us} who were a part of his first year.

Here are some photos that hopefully capture the details and a little of the joy of the day...

the birthday boy socializing with guests

This year has been a wild ride.  The birth.  The sleepless nights.  The first eight weeks of 'survival mode.'  The 'firsts.'  The infectious laughter.  The crocodile tears.  The fumbling through it all,  hoping and praying that we are doing a half-way decent job.  

Something {new and beautiful} every day.  

 While we all sang 'happy birthday' to him I saw it all flash before my eyes, which then brimmed with tears.  

How did we go so quickly from this....

 ...to this?

Just the blink of an eye, friends...truly, just the blink of an eye.

g

one year ago: out of breath, ready to pop

One year ago it was my due date.

We were very {im}patiently awaiting the arrival of our little boy baby.

We were ready physically.  We were ready emotionally.  We were ready financially.

But we were not really "ready."  How can you be ready for an experience you have never had before?  The experience of parenthood is one you cannot fathom until you are actually, physically holding that new little life that you created.

Only in that moment, and then in the difficult, beautiful, sleepless, wondrous, draining, exciting days that follow the birth -- only then do you know what you are in for.
Our lives, and our very selves, are 100% different today than a year ago.

Strangely and beautifully different.

Here I am, my only video during my pregnancy, just hours before I went into labor.   I am breathless.  I am excited.  I am....exhausted.  {you can tell!}

I feel the same way today.

Excited, breathless,  and utterly exhausted.

Tomorrow we have a toddler.  Officially. 

We love you, sweet boy.

g

vintage finds: the whole kit and 'caboodle'

One of the things I did while visiting my parents in Minnesota was acquire a beautiful booty of old stuff.

Some from the local Salvation Army.

Some from the antique mall in town. {"in town" is what the country folk call the small city nearby}

Some from the storage space in the old 'grainery-turned-Dad's-man cave'   These are things he was instructed to throw away but pheeeeeeeeew thank God he didn't!  It was like a treasure hunt.

Here are a few photographs of my finds...

Completely adorable picnic basket.  .

One of my old Caboodles.  These are considered 'vintage' now.  Wow, that doesn't make me feel old or anything.  Instead of makeup I stored a mish-mash of items such as pennies flattened on railroad tracks, notes from dear friends, post cards and admission bracelets to amusement parks.  Even now I can't bear to toss them...

Some pretty frames and a tie rack.

A stool which also has butcher block-top table that I plan to repaint and use as a play table in a toddler room someday, perhaps.

Old suitcases?  Yes, please.

One was actually in perfect condition, the other not-so-much but it was my dad's work briefcase for years and years so it has purely sentimental value.  

Another thing I found in my Caboodle...a plastic photo holder holding all photos of none other than...

Joey-Joe McIntyre from the New Kids!  Wow.  Just wow.

One of my favorite finds while thrifting in town...a beautiful old copy of Wuthering Heights:

An old camera with leather case for $14...and a $3 photography book from the 1950's just for fun.

Of course there are the obligatory mason jars...who can pass up their cuteness {and cheapness} for only $1 a piece?  Surely I can find a use for three more...???

And finally, the cake stand.  I wanted a smaller one than the one I have, and this little scalloped beauty fit the bill.  For only five bills.

One HUGE thank you to my mama for a wonderful morning thrifting and antiquing with me -

and for marrying a man who doesn't throw anything away.

Love you both.

g

{today, my birthday}

Today is my 31st birthday.  
I'm pretty sure I've accidentally been telling people that I'm thirty-one for the past six months...so this is not that traumatic for me.

Some notable things from the past 365 days...

1. Had a baby.  Kind of a big deal.
2. Lost 38 pounds.  Okay, so most of it was baby-related...but still.
3. Travelled to Europe for the second time.  Hopefully not the last!
4. Stopped tanning.  Not gonna lie, kind of envious of some of the tans I saw at the pool yesterday...but having three pre-cancerous moles removed was enough to inspire me to stop fake-baking cold turkey.
5. Started using anti-aging cream.  Yep.

Aging is a funny thing.  Sometimes I feel old and a bit ornery.  Other times I feel young and vibrant.  Sometimes I am overwhelmed by how full and beautiful my life is.  Other times I get irritated at myself for not being able to laugh off the things that go wrong and just focus on the good.  Sometimes I feel like I could run a marathon.  Other times I feel creaky and exhausted.

And so it goes.  Another year of life is on the horizon...my heart is full of anticipation for what it might bring!

g

one year ago...fourth of july!

Happy fourth of July, my sweet friends!
One year ago today I was ginormously pregnant.
Only days away from my due date.
In the middle of a heat wave...kind of like today, actually.

A couple days before the 4th I snagged these pics, sitting in the car, wearing an extra large beach cover-up from Target as a dress, because that is the only thing in my closet that felt comfortable on the scorching hot day.

 My hands were not swollen at all {see my rings!} - I just have stubby fingers. :)

 My baby bump was completely dropped and oddly misshapen

 Wow.  I clearly look uncomfortable.  And sitting in the very unladylike "nine months pregnant" position.

A couple days later I was sporting...my fourth of July mumu!  Actually, I just wore this dress the other day and still love it...

One of the last photos before our family became "three"...er..."four!"

And here I am, one year later, enjoying that sweet baby that made last year's 4th of July celebration so uncomfortable beautiful: 

Hope you are making sweet memories this independence day...you never know where you'll be in a year.  Hopefully not nine months pregnant in a heat wave. 

g

my life: engaged

Currently doing a auto-bio series, hoping to reflect, learn, and grow...and for you to get to know this blogger better!  To catch up read:

1.  the kiddo years 

2. the 'tween years

3. high school 

4. college part 1

5. meeting{future}hubby

6. portland

7. the breakup

8. college part 2

9. the proposal

10. college part 3: graduation

11. cincinnati

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

After my emotional proposal of marriage and Paul's jovial acceptance we went full speed ahead with wedding planning.

newly engaged - christmas with my fam

This time felt completely different than our previous engagement: I knew what I wanted, and was overjoyed to be planning the biggest event of our lives thus far - the celebration of committing ourselves to each other.

I proposed in December of 2006 and later that month we both travelled to Minnesota for Christmas. During our trip I went with my mom and sister wedding dress shopping - again.  This time it was a beautiful, memorable event.  I tried on a couple gowns before donning the one.
We all knew it was the one.  My mom was in tears.  Everyone at The Wedding Shoppe on Grand Avenue in St. Paul was nodding in agreement as I stepped onto the raised platform in front of the triptych of oversized mirrors.

I never pictured myself in lace, but the intricate lace overlay of the strapless ivory gown, scalloped romantically at the bodice and the train, warranted no need to look at anything else.   It was classic and absolutely perfect for the style of wedding I was imagining in my head, now that I could actually imagine that day.

The simple ivory mesh veil perched on my crown was the perfect finishing touch...and when I really felt like a bride-to-be.

Surprisingly, wedding planning was not stressful.  It was fun to use my creativity to choose things that would represent my style, as well as Paul's.  I relished every moment of planning our day.

Initially I just knew I wanted classic and romantic.   Also, because we already were wine lovers and we planned on a Napa Valley honeymoon, a color scheme was chosen: black, ivory and burgundy.

We had a strict budget, as neither of us had saved any money for a wedding.  My parents didn't have much extra money to spare, but they bought my wedding gown, which meant the world to me.  His parents were generously covering the rehearsal dinner and wine/drinks at the reception.

The rest of the cost was up to us, so we decided on a budget and took out a loan to cover it, planning to pay it back as soon as possible.

Neither of us wanted a huge, fancy affair.  It would be on the smaller side and more intimate.  The guest list was, for the most part, close family and close friends - with a target of around 100 guests.

Another thing I did know was the location I wanted: a park in Cincinnati that I ran around frequently, which also happened to be one of the most sought-after wedding venues.  Most dates were booked by brides as soon as it was humanly possible to book them.

We decided to not be picky and just see what dates were still available for the beautiful gardens and arched stone pavilion at the park.   Only two Saturdays left: one in May, and one in September.  Wanting a little extra time to plan, we chose September 8th, 2007.

Amidst the wedding planning we decided to take a cruise - to Cozumel, Belize and Nassau.

The cruise was a welcome distraction, as there was so much going on in our lives during that time, all wedding planning aside...

My job as store manager of a large shoe store was getting more and more stressful.  I had been moved to the busiest location in Cincinnati.  The store had a lot of issues, to say the least.  Being entrusted to improve the store was a daunting task that had me cranky and working a lot of hours.

our first home

Then Paul and I decided to purchase our first home together.  House shopping was sort of difficult but mostly just exciting for us.   We found a gorgeous home in a historic neighborhood that we thought fit our lifestyles well - with a lot to walk to and close to downtown.

Only few weeks before our wedding another good friend of mine, who was going to be one of my personal attendants, was getting married.  I travelled solo to the beautiful Black Hills of South Dakota to share in her wedding celebration.

me and the beautiful bride!

photo with random park ranger was a must!

Soon enough bachelor and bachelorette parties were underway.  Paul ended up going with some of his close friends to Vegas.  God only knows what went on -- in true Vegas style I've only been told about the FIBA basketball games they attended.  I'm sure they were angels the rest of the time...

My bridal shower and bachelorette party were actually the same day -- the Thursday before our wedding.  This allowed my out-of-state female family members and closest girlfriends to celebrate with me!   My future mother-in-law planned both events and I had an absolute blast.  We had a hotel room in downtown Cincinnati and went out on Mt. Adams - a fun bar area where Paul had originally proposed to me.  Such a memorable night with some amazing ladies in my life!

my sweet gram even donned a boa!

me and most of my favorite lady friends 

me and my sweet mama

this pretty much sums up the evening

The next night was Friday evening and we had the rehearsal at the park where the wedding ceremony would be held...or at least where we planned for the ceremony to be held.  (We learned the next day that things don't always go exactly as planned.)

Paul brought me one lovely sunflower to hold in place of my bouquet.

my dad - running us through the ceremony

After the rehearsal we all headed to a local German beer hall for our rehearsal dinner.  Let's just say there was lots of schnitzel, wurst, kraut and beer.  Oh, and sweet polka music.  It was everything we could have hoped for - a blast for all our wedding party, relatives, and guests who were in town that night and came out to party with us.

the bride and the guys

with his sisters and dad

After the celebrating in true German style, I headed back to our home.  It was abuzz with my immediate family members and several of my friends who were staying there.  All I recall is there was a lot of last minute program-making, wine-drinking {we needed the bottles for the table decor!} and loudness.  That is my family.  Oh, and someone, who shall remain nameless, threw up in the attic.

Because of the craziness in the house, my husband-to-be insisted I vacate and got me a hotel room for the night, so I could spend the night in peace.  Best decision ever.  He knew I needed my space and some quiet to keep my balance, and retreating to the nearby hotel gave me that.

Let's just say, amid the fun and festivities, I had a few freak-outs.  I'll keep them to myself, but they make some funny/ridiculous stories now.

I snuggled into the hotel bed that night and blissfully slept my last night as an unmarried woman.

Up next: the wedding day!

g